Hate

I hate you for being so idiot!
I hate you for being crap!
I hate you!

Old

Feels like I'm getting old. Why am I saying that? Well last Friday. I went to my aunt house. The big family on my late mum side gathering plus a preparation for my cousin sister engagement day. It's been 3 years i haven't seen all my cousin. We're just contact through the cell or internet. I feels so weird, meeting them after this 3 years.

My youngest little cousin just turn 8 last Saturday. They all have grown up fast. The one who last i saw them when they was in primary school, right now already in high school... And they seems so big to me. And i feel weird about it. Probably it because before this, i have seen them grown up in front of my eyes... I'm more close to the cousin on my mum side instead of my dad. But since my mum passed away, we usually spend our time with my dad's side. And for the past 3 years, I've been close to them instead of mum side.

Gosh, now i realize how i miss them. Especially, Dek Ya, my cousin who was at the same age as mine. We're grown up together. Right now i feel old. And I'm not a teenager anymore... I'm a women. Gosh... Feels so weird...

Owe...i can't wait for my cousin engagement day. Well i guess it's because i have a crush her engagement photographer....hehehe just kidding. Well i met them last Friday if I'm not mistakes, at Mid Valley, where i follow my cousin sis to buy sum of her stuff. Lol...silly me....

Stay

Why people always have to leave?
Please stay...
Please stay...
Please stay...

Happy Birthday Aisyah

Happy 20th birthday Syah.

Hey, u're geeting old. Love u bestie. (Not in a lesbian way erk...she's my bestie)
Owe...and i wonder what did Aizat and Amat get u for ur birthday....

Something cute & nice

This is so cute... The Twilight Characters

Jacob Black (The wolf)
This one is freakin nice. But I don't know who draw this. But that person is really talented

Hurts & Relief

I feel it hurts, i feel so scared
Without any words, I'm unprepared
The memory suddenly hunts me, in the middle of the night
The history had wounded me, when I'm turn off the light

I can feel the pain lingers, surrounded my fear
I suddenly hear the whispers, which haunt me for years
The tears broken, I'm out of air to breathe
The feeling was unspoken, it left me without peace

Unexpected visitor, has knocking the door
With an amazing character, i suddenly adore
I'm back to reality, by the kisses on my cheek
I'm back from the fantasy, that had gone and makes me weak

Amazingly i knew him, from the first moment i saw
Gratefully I'm in love with him, that he had made peace no war
I'm glad that he came, getting me out from this agony game
The love burning like eternal flame, that known for it's fame

5.28 AM

November 29, 2009

P/S: Inspired by New Moon

Twilight Saga 'New Moon'

Yeah......i watch New Moon. :) Well, i guess New Moon is nice. The movie was almost exactly like in the book, only several changes for making it more dramatic i guess. Owe yeah, i went for the midnight movie, i went with my bro and my cousin bro, Akim or i usually call him adik. Cause he was 2 years younger then me. It's been almost 3 years i guess, i haven't seen him. He's taller from the last i saw him, as far as i remember. I miss my cousin moment. Too bad that my cousin sister(Kak Ita) can't follow us, cause she's having a terrible flu. I miss her too.

Akim (Adik) & Me at the MBO, Seremban

Back to the New Moon, i read the book, i read Kak Olive book. But it took me awhile to read it and i often left it... So, I'm not really remember how was the ending. Owe and about the Volturi parts, i expect more dramatic but it's kindda disappointed a lil bit. Erm whatever... Owe and my brother keep complaining the part that Jacob wanted to tell Bella that he's a werewolf, he said, he can cut it and make it shorter... oh whatever.

Owe, people may usually feel hurts when the part that Edward left Bella, but to me, I feel hurts when the part he told her that he was lying about the leave (after Bella chasing him at Voltera if I'm not mistakes), i feel so hurts at that part. When i read the book, i cried, same as when i watch it in the movie. I feel like I've been through that moment before.

Owe and i suddenly miss him...

How to know if you're a Twi-hard

Well i just checking my email, then after i sign out from the mailbox, i saw this one article by Lydia Kwan, How to know if you're a Twi-hard. Well of course I'm a Twilight fan. I read all the books well...not all..technically it's the pdf that i download from the Internet. Well i admit that some of the statement are acceptable....but some of it...make me laugh.. I couldn't imagine how imaginative this people are. Seems like Steph Meyers had totally making all those Twilight fans in fantasy. A real fantasy.... Well below this is the exactly article that i copy from the MSN page. Except for the bold comment one... it's from my opinion...

Caught the Twilight fever and feel like you’re losing grip on reality? 12 fanatic Malaysian Twi-hards confess how far they’ve gone with their fandom. Go through our checklist to find out if you’ve gone from neutral to a die-hard Twilight fan!

1. You’ve read all the books Fan confession: “I’ve read all four books over and over again. Sometimes I peep over strangers’ shoulders to see which scene it is, and think about it all over in my head.”

Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn – if you’ve gone all the way to Jacob imprinting on Renesmee and can still remember the dish Bella ordered in the Italian restaurant in the first book, you’ve got this checked.

Comment: Yup...mushroom ravioli :)

2. You firmly believe that vampires exist, and they sparkleFan confession: “Of course they can walk out in the sun… They don’t get scorched, they have marble skin.”

If you believe in Stephenie Meyer’s version of the blood-thirsty predator – a sparkling statue with no fangs – you’ve got this checked too. Chances are, ‘em vamps would be more afraid of screaming girls instead.

Comment: Yup...they would be more afraid of those screaming girls fan... and hello that type of vamp who can walk out in the sun with the marble skin do not exist...da... wake up!

3. You believe that the whole saga is truly going on, somewhere out there Fan confession: “I really thought that Edward and Bella truly existed… or at least good vampires all around the world."

By following Bella’s love journey, one can easily believe this fantasy world Meyer has created for her readers. Question is, are YOU losing grip on reality and dwelling in this world of make-believe?

Comment: Yeah...steph meyers making it sound more real with the Quillete legends. Well i have read in this one web but i don't remember which website...saying about the Quillete ancestors who was a shape-shifter, a wolf.

4. You expect to see Edward in your room at nightFan confession: “Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and look at the corner of my room, hoping he’ll be watching me sleep.”

A big part of the saga narrates Edward’s presence in Bella’s room – from watching her sleep to getting a little physical. He is always stationed on a chair or by the corner of her room, so you know you’ve got this checked if you wake up expecting his golden eyes stare you down.

Comment: Well it's the dream of every girl fans, i guess... but it's rubbish.

5. You want to go to Forks… or Cameron Highlands at leastFan confession: “I wanted to go to Forks to find Edward, but ended up going to Cameron Highlands to read the books again. It felt so great to be in a similar environment... It’s the closest I can get to him.”

Forks… the quiet town turned tourist spot. It’s cold, wet, gloomy and full of greenery. If you’ve got the idea of going there to look for Edward, you’re slowly inching towards obsession.

Comment: Going to Forks to find Edward? Another rubbish i guess....lawak

6. You’ve read Midnight SunFan confession: “I hate whoever who leaked Midnight Sun and caused Meyer to stop writing it... But I’ve read it.”

Midnight Sun is another book by Stephenie Meyer which tells Edward’s side of the story. It was leaked before Meyer was done writing the book, discouraging the authoress as she felt that she was closely watched. She has since published the written 12 chapters online, leaving readers to crave more. If you know of Midnight Sun and have downloaded a copy yourself, you’re definitely a Twi-hard fan.

Comment: Have no idea about the leaked stuff.......but i did have a copy of midnight sun :)

7. You avoid the sunFan confession: “I want to keep my skin as white as possible. I want to look like a vampire and the burning sun is just spoiling my plan.”

While some want to keep a pale complexion to look like vamps (seriously, it happens), some try to follow the lives of the Cullens by staying away from the sun – just in case they sparkle.

Comment: For God sake, it's Malaysia, and it's summer almost through the entire year. Come back to reality babe!

8. You compare your love interest to EdwardFan confession: “It’s a good thing that my boyfriend can’t read my mind. He’d leave me if he knew how much I thought he lacked from Edward.”

Almost every Twi-hard fan has ended up comparing their boyfriends/husbands with Edward Cullen. This is possibly the main reason why guys hate Twilight to no end. Edward depicts the absolute perfect man – strong, powerful, chivalrous and sincerely in love – someone quite impossible to find, yet Twi-hard fans scour the world for him.

Comment: Never compare...cause Naz still the one...except that, Robert are cutter then him...hehehe sorry Yang.

9. Your heart beats faster when you see a silver VolvoFan confession: “Every time I see a silver Volvo, I drive up to it to see if Edward is driving it..”

Edward drives a silver hatchback Volvo in the series, and quotes such as “Nothing like the purr of a Volvo” and “Stupid silver Volvo driver” has been used in the books. If you’ve caught yourself in the act of squealing and running over to see if Edward’s the driver, you’ve got this checked real good.

Comment: Never had crossed my mind!

10. You think of being a vampireFan confession: “I daydream of being just like the Cullens. I love everything about them.”

Vampires are known for their flawless perfection, incredible strength and increased senses amongst others. They’re also famous for being the ultimate baddies in the whole mythical world, as Edward calls it “the world’s most dangerous predator”. Got the hots for a vamp bite, Twilighter?

Comment: Not even once! And hello...never gonna happen in this real world... da... pelik aku..dengan all those fans confession..!

11. You enjoy rainy days the mostFan confession: “It reminds me of rainy Forks. I can also wear my Bella jacket out in warm Kuala Lumpur.”

Forks, as said by Edward, is the wettest place in continental America. In tropical (and mostly scorching) Malaysia, you know you’ve got this checked if you only want the rain for Forks’ environment. Rain for sawah padi? What sawah padi?

Comment: I don't like rain...! Tapi suka mendung... :)

12. You’ve contemplated stealing the life-size cut-out Fan confession: “I stole the cut-out from a cinema in Petaling Jaya. Edward’s in my room now and I kiss him everyday.”

If you find yourself entertaining the idea of stealing these Twilight promos and merchandises, you need to know that (1) it’s illegal, and (2) you’re obsessed with Twilight.

Comment: Yang ni seriously obsess giler....and psycho pun ade jugak... hehe seram..

Return

It's been a while since my last post. I'm not really in mood to write stuff. Well i watch 2012 last week. Menarik... And cry juga la. Tetiba touching... Bila tiba-tiba terbayangkan kita in that situation. Menunggu ajal. Sedih. I miss shah alam. I really am. Rasa bosan di rumah. Rasa macam tak da life. Whatever....

Owe...tak sabar nak tunggu 'New Moon'.... Benci! Kat US hari Jumaat lepas dah keluar. Kat sini 26 nov ni baru keluar. Benci! Damn...i dunno why, but suddenly...lately ni, i'm so so and so in love with Robert Thomas Pattison. The one who play Edward Cullen dalam Twilight tu... Gosh.... Dah lama aku tak rasa gilakan seseorg artis sampai camni. He's such a damn hottie.

Dah lama rasanya tak tulis poems... I want to write...tapi tak de idea dan tak de mood. I miss Naz.... I hope i can write something for him. Something special...

Owe and just chat with Zaki... He's sounds so regret for letting me go... But it serves him well i guess.... After all thus years that he had done to me...erm...whatever la...

I'm just blur rite now....feels so empty... Aku tak tau ape yg boleh buat aku happy sekarang... Rasa macam something misssing....

Erm....it's almost 4 am now.... Going to sleep....Gud nite

Sedihnye

Sedihnya sebab jari aku pendek. Dan sebab jari aku pendek jugak, aku tak dapat nak main lagu 'Concerto De Aranjuez', 2nd movement. Sedih...dah la kena kutuk dengan Naz jari pendek. Lepas tu dia suruh aku tukar guitar pada size yang lagi kecik supaya sesuai untuk aku. Tapi aku sayangkan 1st guitar classical aku tu. Huhuhu... Tak kesampaian aku nak bawak lagu tu untuk 'Showcase'. Sedih....

Unfaithful again?

First of all...happy belated birthday to me...yeah... Hehehe.... well my birthday on August 28 last month, but I'm too lazy to write in this blog but now I'm updating again. Owe and happy birthday to Azie also.... dah tua :p. Hehehehe... Owe..well as i grown older, my present pun jadi semakin sikit. Sedih...huhu. Well...i got an Amethyst heart shape ring from Naz, talking about the lover...he just call...:). And i got a Gucci purse from Aisyah, well technically from Aizat i guess, cause he was the one who go aboard and buy it for me and not her! But as what Syah claim, it's a gift from her. So accept jelah. She's my best friend.

The ring from the lover.

The purse from the best friend.

Well....erm what else...owe i've already received the kimono dress that i ordered from Smashing Pit Stop. Really cute. I don't have the picture right now, maybe I'll post it later. Cause I'm using my home pc instead of my lappy. The kimono is so cute....and of course it's a brown colour again. I guess i would match with my new choco white heels. Hope so. Ain't test it yet. I just love brown colour. t's easy for me to match with other colour.

Okey, back to the main topic, unfaithful again. Erm...well there's a story about that. Well of course it is. Silly me. Erm...well before i begin..... here are some old poems that i wrote for two person....and erm....just read it.

As I promise myself to be faithful to him

Even though sometimes he makes my life bright in dim
As the time goes by
Curiosity makes me want to cry
As I lonely through the night alone
Someone come and try to heal the wound
As the courage of loyalty getting weaker
I’m lost in my own fear
I break my own wall
As I’m going down to fall
As the kiss had change everything
I’m lost in our dreams
To them, I feel so guilty
It be a sin, that hunts me until eternity
I’m afraid to lose them both
But I know, I just make it worst
I realize the thing that I’ve done
And now, I’m out of no where to run
Just waiting in the cold
For them to know, that I’m unfaithful…

1.28 PM
January 3, 2007
(Unfaithful)

And what's the connection between this poems is that, the same person that I've been flirting with during those time. Well i guess i shouldn't reveal his name. Cause he's married now. But still erm. I just chat with him at facebook, owe and he try to flirt with me again...just like before. Before it's different cause he's still single and i'm with the damn old bf who so psychotic, but now he's married and I'm with my beloved caring boyfie that i promise i will never be unfaithful like before.

Well i can't deny that part of me sort of jealous with me. Cause i do like that guy, but too bad, when we met each other like 3 years ago, he was already have someone special... Too bad for me. Well i guess i like him because of how he treats me, and ain't like the psychotic ex-bf. But thank God i have Naz now.

Gosh...why am i so jealous? For got sake, i don't even have a big crush on him but why am i feel like this? Gosh...i'm dead if Naz find out. Erm what ever. As long as i keep the promise to myself that i will never flirt again and that's it. I won't be unfaithful again...except if some start it up again... Then that's a diffrent story...

Well got to go...owe and i wish him happy with his wife...and from the picture that i saw from the facebook, i guess they are...

White Choco Baby

Wah...it's been quite a while since i write my last post. Well it's not that I'm totally busy but i just not in mood for writing anything. Erm first of all i wanna wish Happy Ramadhan Month to every Muslim's out there.

Erm back to the main tittle, "White Choco Babby". I just received a pair of shoes that i ordered from Kulkith last week. It's so cute...and although the heels are 7 cm high but so comfy. I was planing to wear in during my forum for 2nd song, but I'm not so sure either I'm going to do my forum for tomorrow or not. I'm in dilemma right now. Huhuhu.... Well now i'm kindda out of idea what to write. I get blur back. And i'm going to end it now by showing a picture of my baby heels, btw, i just copy this pict from the facebook page, i'm too lazy to take a new pict for it.

Well at some side, it looks like a boots, erm whatever...

Thanks Agnes for sending it a.s.a.p.

Dramma Queen

You're such a dramma queen. There had no doubt anymore about this. And now, i'm taking back my statement about thus poor farrah stuff in my previous post. And now i wanna said that she deserve that. And her boyfriend deserve to get away from her. She's such a dramma queen. Yes i am so freaking mad at her right now. She was some ketot pschyotic. With all her dramma pretending like she's innocent and like she was an angle, but she was totally a pretender. Living in a pretending world.

That's the reason why you have no bestfriend. That's the reason why your bf must die, to get away from your dramma. I am so sick of your dramma! Having a practical at the same place with you has caused me a lot of suffer. Suffering from your dramma towrds all thus JKKN people.

You're such a freak. You're not faithful as a you pretending. I know you have a lot of scandal. And someone have saw you with his own eyes riding a motorcycle with someone unknown guys who was not your bf while he was still alive. Owe and your dramma with Azizul, you guys deserve to be togather. Or should i say you can be his hores? Erm whatever! Just damn you.

Owe you're saying that you was the one who do a lot of works then the other practical student? Well f**k you! It was Adi and not you! Jangan perasan la hores! It was Adi yang workerholic but not you! Kau tu 24 hours sibuk dengan facebook. Aku nak buat kerja pun kau sibuk nak bukak facebook kau! To me as in my point of view and as my eyes have seen, you doing the less work then us. So less. Kau just busy dengan performance kau! Ok fine. Sebab diorang kekurangan singer. Ambil kau sebab nak save budject. Kau ingat suara kau sedap sangat ke? Nyanyi pun sengau! Kau memang tak sesuai langsung nyanyi tradisional. Owe...and you deserve to be blind. Argh..i'm so so damn freaking pissed right now! Owe and yeah, that's the reason why muka kau memang tak da seri. Asyik masam je. Nak buat sombong bodoh kau!

5 types of people that annoyed me

1. First and for most, 'The Plastics".

I just hate the 'Plastics'. Some of this type of person are okey to me but some of them really annoyed me. This type of person that usually making us fighting with each other because of their big smelly mouth that can't stop spreading the false rumours. Owe and this type of person also who's trying to overshadow you by being the lime light cause of such a f****n lame excuses.

2. Back stabber

I hate them. Can you imagine, they person that you have trusted for ages for keeping all your secrets etc, but turn out to be back stabbing you by hiding behind their angelic view......that sucks! Can be similar to the 'Plastics' but the different is you use to trust this person while the plastic, you already know that they can't be trusted.



3. The smokers.




The smokes are killing me. Please go away from me. (*too bad that my boyfie was also a smoker* sigh**)



4. The Annoying One



This annoying person can just give you some headache! First and for most i hate kids that annoying but i love cats that annoying. They just seems so cute. hehehe (*do get what i mean?* faham-faham sudah!*) Owe and they most annoying is when that one person 'merengek-rengek' by thinking he or she is too cute... (*badan macam bagak* kau ingat kau cute la buat perangai macam tu?*) so annoying!



5. Unfaithful





This type of person hurts me a lot. And i'm done with it!

H1N1 menular ke campus Shah Alam

Cuti......for one week starting from next week. Tapi sapa yang this week thursday or friday dah tak de class, macam aku, boleh lah start cuti awal. Hehehehe.......

Aku dapat berita campus ditutup pun bila on facebook, tengok status si Athira piano, saying dah our uni holiday for one week. Then text her asking why, she said that she heard the annocement from our collage, gesa all the student balik untuk 1 minggu start from 27J July 2009 until 2nd August 2009. Then aku still tak puas hati, aku call kak Olive, roomates aku, then she had confirm it by saying the same thing. Dia pun baru dengar annocement to tadi.

Sekarang ni dah 4 campus iaitu Melaka, Perak, Terengganu and Shah Alam (tak sure campus kat Puncak Perdana kena ke tak) UiTM tutup for a week and Penang campus kena quarantined. Thanks God kitorang tak kena quarantined. Parah wo kalau kena quarantined. Tak hidup aku kalau duk kat hostel 24 hour. Btw, kesian bebudak kat Campus Permatang Pauh, Penang, seksa la korang selama seminggu.

Kalau betul pun Shah Alam kena quarantined, aku dah balik umah, diorang baru annoced tadi kalau tak silap aku. So aku still safe dari kena qarantined. Hehehe.....

Seramlah plak denga penangan H1N1 ni, gaklah dengar penangan H1N1 ni. Baru je tadi aku terbaca tentang H1N1 death related in Malaysia. Yang mati tu student dari Indonesia yang belajar kat sini. Dia kena tu lepas balik dari holiday kat negara dia.

Owe and one lastest news aku dapat dari member aku yang tengah practical kat HUKM, 10 orang budak uitm s.alam positif H1N1. And she said all of them are juniors. Yang baru masuk this sem. Ceh pembawak virus betul. Skang ni aku risau si Jenny pulak. Dah la waktu cuti hari tu dia pegi London la Tokyo la, lepas tu balik tak buat check up. Btw, take care la ye korang, elakkan dari pergi ke tempat yang ramai orang.

Happy Birthday Nazire

Happy birthday sayang...
Wishing you the best of luck in everything that you did.
May Allah bless you.
I love you.

After a while

It's been quite a while since i last update my blog. Well there had some few interesting stuff that i have been through with lots of laugh and fun. Owe the new semester have begins. My roommates for this sem should be Wanie, Abi and Ika. But since Wanie wanna check out from the collage and staying with her sister at section 7, there had one empty bed left in our room. But then one day this one girl call Wanie and asked her for her place and Wanie said yes. Cause she really want to get her name out from the hostel unit system so that she can apply for non resident stickers.

But the i find out that she register the collage under Wanie's name and i told her, and she was freaking out. She try to call this girl Ja, the one who replace her, but she didnt pick up her phone. The she straight call the hostel unit which lucky there still had some staff who picking up the phone even the office hours already end around 1 hour. After she inform the hostel units, suddenly the girl, Ja, calls her back. Wanie ask her for an explanation and i guess she couldn't explain kot. I dunno. But when i get back from the faculty that night, her stuff was gone. totally clean like there's no one have been there before. I quickly told Wanie and onece again she freakingg out. Well just whatever. Owe after that, i told kak Oliver, the one who still didnt get a room, she was in the hostel appealing list. I told her that our room was empty and because of bla bla bla..... Then i told her if she wants a room, then quickly go to the office and let them know about it.

Yesterday when i was at the faculty, kak Annete message me, saying that kak Oliver asking me to duplicate my room key. Then when i get back from faculty, i was told that she got the excat from while she was appealing even she didn't stated which room that she want. So...right now, officially and legally, kak Oliver was our new roommates who replacing Wanie's place.

Owe k, that was yesterday story. But let's look at back some previous one's.

July 6, 2009

I cut my hair.... Changging my hair image.

This pict was taken on July 7, 2009 at Alamanda, before we sent my Along for his interview at Lim Kok Wing University

July 11, 2009

Owe...i went out with Khairul after haven't seen him for 2 years. He wanted to see me so badly before he fly to Tokyo on the 15, and got back to Canada. It's kindda funny. We went for lunch at The Summit. Owe and on our way back, we're having an accident while he was busy trying to seduce me in the car. None of us had any injury. Just for the car. LOL. And it was his cousin car. I dunno how he explain it to his cousin. Well here a pict between me and him.. ah...so sweet...and i'm dead if Naz find out! Huhuhu. Sorry sayang.

Me and Khairul at Johnny's The Summit.

On the same day, after get back from seeing this 'jantan gatal', i have to move my stuff to my room cause i'm put it Paie's room. I dont have the new key for my room while dat. And no one was in the room so i couldn't get in. Owe and here had a pict of Paie playing with my stuff owe and she looks really horrible...

She looks like 'perempuan gila' who usually mumbling around with a flower in her head...Just look at her...aren't they just the same? Hehehe

July 12, 2009

Aiman, Jenny and i, went to KLCC to watch some MPO concert. It's kindda fun even we miss the finale songs. It's all because during the break, Jenny wanna go and grab something to eat and i wanted to go to Vincci to find some new slippers. Well here had some pict of us while eating Lasange at the foodcourt.

Jannah @ Jenny Marjeena busy finishing Aiman's lasange.



Aiman busy with her cell.

While me, busy bullying them...hehehe but...my pict sucks...Jenny dunno how to framming.. huh (geram)

July 14, 2009

I went to the faculty with Aiman this morning and i complaining that i'm hungry. As soon as we arrived at the faculty, we go and grab something to eat at the INTEC cafe in front of the block F. Then when we on our way back to our block, Aiman wanted to walk at the back side of the cafe. Which there had a field behind there that we use to have our faculty family day. Then there had some tree captivating her eyes. She quickly 'merengek' to me to take the tree picture and i as her model. Well had some pict....it's really nice.

Wearing a formal attire because we have a forum today. Owe and some said that i look slimmer then before. Hehehe *blush*




Aiman getting weird...

Owe at night, we're having some fun inside the room. I keep bully Ieja and she keep running away. After tired bullying her, i curl up Abi's hair and then after that, Miera, Ieja and i, making a makeover to Abi and here was the resualt. hehehehe

"The Tartan Witch" From the beg, the blouse until the legging, everything was tartan.

Papa

Happy birthday papa,

I love you so much
With all my heart

May God bless your life and give you all the miracle that you need.

Happy birthday, I love you.

Just Another Beautiful Disaster

She’s just the sweet honey bee

That everyone thought her pretending to be

She’s just another beautiful disaster

That everyone keep taking advantage of her

She’s not another bitch that played everyone’s heart

But she just afraid of her heart to get touched

She’s not the girl who loves every man

She just the one who will vow for one until the end

Unfaithful

As I promise myself to be faithful to him
Even though sometimes he makes my life bright in dim
As the time goes by
Curiosity makes me want to cry
As I lonely through the night alone
Someone come and try to heal the wound
As the courage of loyalty getting weaker
I'm lost in my own fear
I break my own wall
As I'm going down to fall
As the kiss had change everything
I'm lost in our dreams
To them, I feel so guilty
It be a sin, that hunts me until eternity
I'm afraid to lose them both
But I know, I just make it worst
I realize the thing that I've done
And now, I'm out of no where to run
Just waiting in the cold
For them to know, that I'm unfaithful

1.28 PM
January 3, 2007

P/S: One of my old poems....I'm sorry

Server Down

Well...tajuk server down ni sebenarnye, x delah kena mengena dengan connection internet yang slalu menyakitkan hati kita semua bila dia buat hal. Tapi berkenaan dengan diri aku yang lately ni asyik breakdown. Memula mental breakdown. Ganggu aku nak buat kerja. Isi penting dah ada, nak buat ayat aku tetibe blur. Hampir sepanjang waktu keje jugaklah aku kena mental breakdown ni. Tapi nasiblah petang semalam ada perlawanan badminton kat tempat praktikal aku tu, dapatlah jugak release tension and tenangkan mental yg breakdown ni. Btw, mental breakdown tu semalam.

Hari ni pulak, emotion breakdown. Aku tak tau kenapa, tetibe emo sangat sampai kena kacau Naz yang tengah ada class tu, kenalah sayang aku tu memujuk sambil menenangkan. Sabar je la die dengan kerenah aku ni. Teruk punya breakdown...sampai mata aku merah la. Tapi of course la aku tak melalak depan org mcm sesetengah umat. Memula aku dok kt bilik tv cuba control emotion, then tetibe ade malaun sekor ni nyanyi lagu yang buat aku terus rase nak melalak. Terus lari ke surau and melalak sesorang kat situ.

Muka baru lepas melalak. Mata dah kurang merah.

Lately ni ada org hitting on aku. Hitting dengan cara main tarik tali. Bencinye. Aku paling tak boleh bla bile terpandang mata playboy die tu. Bergegar kejap satu badan. Mampos kena cincang aku kalau Naz tau. Huhuhu. Aku cuba buat gab, dia cuba menggatal rapat. Lantaklah lu mamat. Jangan bini lu carik wa kata wa menggatal kat laki dia sudah.

Owe, fyi, aku kena jadi mc untuk program 'Bintang Asli Remaja' peringkat zon selatan. And one n9 punya wakil, adik kepada Kak Cik @ Kak Fazura Violin tu. Nama dia Fazli. So just nak wish him good luck and all the best. Owe and i need a luck too. Aku dah la stage fright, cik mat menggatal pegi letak aku jadi mc, mau gagap aku atas stage nanti. Nasib aku bukan sesorg. Aku ngan KC. KC pon 2 kali 5 aku jugak, x reti nak beckp. Gabungan yang sangat padanlah tu cik mat. Kalau annocement tak lancar jangan salahkan kitorg erk. Kitorg dh cube buat yang the best.

Erm ape lagi erk aku nak membebel?

Owe ye...yang perlawanan badminton tu, aku ngan partner aku menang. Hehehe...aku partner dengan Lee (bdk practical UM tu) and dia memang bagus. Lucky for me...hehehe. Thanks Lee.

Owe and i guess that's for now kot.

Orang-orang yang ting tong

Hantu punya TP, tak pasal-pasal pagi tadi aku sakan kena bahan dengan TP waktu mesyuarat pagi tadi. Dah lah sebelum tu die buat lawak bodoh dengan menyuruh kitorg bayangkan macam mana kalau die pakai sari. Okey, korang cube imagine erk, dia itam, gemok and tinggi lebih kurang tinggi aku. Tak ke macam badak sumbu pun ade tu....tapi colour extra gelap sketl.

Lebih kurang macam nilah agaknye kot rupe die, cuma extra gelap, extra boroi and extra drag. BTW, gamba ni drag queen dr mane tah, aku jumpe kat yahoo pict.

Yang ketua pemuzik die plak, lagi sengal, orang tanya dia main instrument apa untuk perform, dia boleh pegi jawab main alat kelamin.....satu bilik mesyuarat sakit perut tergelak. Ada yang muka merah tahan gelak. Aku sampai cram perut dibuatnya. Lepas tu org tua tu ade hati plak ajak aku pg dating.... geli aku. Serious org tua tu lucah giler. 1st day kitorg masuk practical dh kena ayat2 lucah ngan die(secara bergurau, tp mmg ayat2 die agak lucah).

Meeting tadi aku dapat satu keje lagi, kena uruskan program "Bintang Asli Remaja" plak. Nasib bawah abg Faizal. Senang sket nak deal. Masuk ni dah 5 program aku bawah die. Bahagianye... dia tak membebankan otak aku. Next week ada kena uruskan bengkel kemahiran seni. Too bad tak dapat sambutan sangat, yelah sebab bebayor. Manelah org nak.

This week je la so far baru aku dapat relax weekend, kalau tak, asyik ade program je. Macam last week hari sabtu, dari pagi sampai malam. Pagi program lain, malam program lain. Yang belah pagi tu lagi haru, aku kena urus sesorg wo. Panic gak aku kejap. Yelah, abg Faizal lambat sampai. Nasib bahagian technical ada org, kalau aku jugak yang kena, mau haru.

Mate aku dah ting tong ni...ngantok bebeno........walau ada banyak lagi nak membebel. Perhaps aku kena sambung dalam post lain plak. Good nite.....eh nite ke morning erk ni? Dah kol 2 am dah....ting tong otak aku!

I miss you

I miss him so much..........

I miss all those moment......


Suddenly missing him like crazy....huwa.....

Poor little one...

Poor little one... Fara,

After loosing her grandmother a week before, now she's loosing the love of her life. Her soul mates. I don't know how can she handle this. I hope she's strong enough to deal with all this situation. Well as i said before on my previous post that i don't know her bf name, just now i got some info from Wanie. The news of his death was one of the headlines in US. That explain why Fara sounds so weak while she was crying when i call her that morning. To Fara, please be strong. We'll be waiting for you to get back in work soon. And here the link to the news about the bf, Nublan Zaki Norhadi. Al-fatihah.

P/S: You can visit this blog if you wanna know more about him. This blog belongs to one of his close friend.

Condolence

Condolence to Farah for the lost of her beloved boyfriend due to drowning in some lagoon or something. Well i'm not so sure bout that. But i know it's hard when loosing someone you love. Don't know what his name, but may his soul rest in peace, Amin.

Temasya Mengemping

Semalam, adalah hari yang memenatkan sampai aku tak sempat nak online, terus tido. Asalnya aku kena jadi urus setia dalam Temasya Mengemping semalam, tapi last minute, hari jumaat lepas, budda-budak music kat JKKNS tu panggil aku ngan Farah tok naik atas. Diorg suruh kami buat tumbuk kalang. Memula excited la, tapi bila dah buat, penat siot. Dah la tempo laju, pastu kena tumbuk sepanjang lagu tu. Nasib la lagu tu tak lama sangat dalam 2 minit lebih. Tapi tu pun lenguh jugaklah. Plus memula masuk je diorg dah bagi aku tempo yang paling laju. Sampai kejang kejap urat tangan aku.

Lepas tu pulak, tetibe diorg suruh jadi back up singer untuk this one song, "Riwayat Petani", ok la. Well sebenarnya Temasya Mengemping ni memang ada berkenaan dengan padi la. Tah camne tah, aku pun tak sure. Aku pegi jer. Tapi aku tak tengok pon diorg buat ape. Busy bersiap kt belakang stage. Asal aku kena back up satu lagu je, and satu lagu lagi tumbuk kalang, bila dah kat stage terus 3 lagu aku kena. Hampeh sey....pastu bagi aku pakai satu baju je, baju kebaya untuk tumbuk kalang yang maha menggatalkan kulit aku dan maha ketat. Aku agak tensi jugaklah sket dengan some of the dancers tu. Tapi some of them ok.

Semalam, bertolak dari Seremban pukul 6 pagi, owe lupa, temasya tu buat kat Simpang Pertang, Jelebu. Giler dalam dan ulu. And then balik sampai kat Taman Budaya balik dalam pukul 9 mlm. Kitorg keluar sebelum matahari terbit dan balik selepas matahari terbenam. Paling aku tak tahan masa kat sana, cuaca. Panas sey... Habis cair make up aku. Plus aku nye make up pun bukannya tebal sangat macam yang lain. Tebal sey make up diorg. Macam tepun gomak. Tapi tak kata la, diorg tu dancers.

The musician, sangat relax. Honestly diorg memang bagus dan mantap. Aku salute kat Along and Abang Cimau (Sebab diorg tu fave aku. hehehe. the rest pon ok gak), diorg mmg tip top. Tapi sayangnya...sound system cam haprak. Dah la tak cukup mike. Pastu org yang jage audio tu mangkok, sampai tak denga suara penyanyi and back up. Buat spoil performance jer. Kalau org JKKNS memang dah kena maki dah, tapi disebabkan diorg tu dari Jabatan Penerangan, terpaksalah akur je.

Well ni ada a few pict yang aku sempat amek. Semua busy sampai nak bergambar pon terlupa. Nanti aku cuba try dptkn gamba performance.

Dengan Kak Lily, a dancer selaku back up singer. Tapi waktu temasya tu die just jd back up singer jer. Gosh gelapnye kulit aku...huhuhu

With Abang Cimau. The keyboardist. Gosh my face look so funny in this pict.

With Afiq. Adik pada singer band pada hari tu, Kak Aisyah Wahid.

Practical & ARtWoRk

Well, today is my 3rd day as a practical student at JKKNS (Jabatan Kebudayaan Kesenian Negeri Sembilan). Yesterday been such a thuff day. I have to be the at the front desk cause the front desk girl had an audition for ASWARA. Damn i hate being at the front desk. Being the operator who connected lines to this and that etc. I'm not a good talker. Damn it! Every each second i prayed for the phone not to rang, cause i'm afraid that i'm can't handle the talk on my own. What do you expect, it's my 2nd day.

The day before( the 1st day), all i had to do is search for a song and download it, but thank to the damn broadband, i can't finished the download there. Thank God i can finish it at home. Owe back to the main point, no one thought me how to use the damn phone and how to answer it etc. I'm not a good speaker. So i don't think i can hadle that. But thank God the day is over. Owe i got back from work around 8 sumthin. Thanks to the damn meeting who involves us all (the practical student, there were 5 of us. 3 others from UM), so we have to stay until the meeting over at 7.30 pm. I'm so exhausted. But even i'm busy with the front desk, i still got a time to play my baby guitar.

Well the head music department, En. Yuzi ask me to bring my guitar, he wanna hear me play and perhaps that we can create something from Mandolin (he play's the Mandolin, kindda cute) and classical guitar and combined it togather.

Owe well move on to the next main tittle, the ARtWoRk. Well this evening, after our Asistant Director, Cik Mat, went to the RTM Negeri Sembilan at sg. Gadut, replacing our Director, i don't know where the hell he have been, cause haven't meet him yet ever since i got in for practical, back to main point, all the staff feels relief after Datuk Rais Yatim, the Minister of Information, Communication & Cultures, done with his tour and meeting at our place. Well, Cik Mat accompanied him to the RTM. All of us seems like have nothing to do at the office, except me, have to done some of Kak Linda's work (one of the staff), all of the staff were chatting, gossiping, eating, sleeping etc. Such as being so lazy. Including the all the practical student except me and Farah, cause i'm doing Kak Linda's work and Farah was on her day off that she ask for her driving test. Kc's, one of the UM students, using the computer at my place cause i'm using the pc at his place, sort of like we're exchanging place with each other. I have to do my work at his place cause i have to use the thumbdrive, the pc at my seats are ting-tong, can't detect the thumbdrive. So Kc was playing some of the games at my place. Then after bored with the games, he drawing something, ain't using any art pen or else, only a mouse, he create this one looks that attract me, but too bad he already erase it. But i manage to take a 2 of the painting that he aint close neither save yet, before he erase it for the second times. To me it's kindda cute.

KC'S first stuff

KC'S 2nd stuff

Aiman's Stuff

Damai yang hilang

Bila mata tertutup, bibir terkedu
Bila air mata ini surut, bibir diam membisu
Kenapa perlu lagi air mata mengalir, sedangkan bahagia di depan mata
Kenapa perlu duka yang lahir, sedangkan kesetiaan jelas ternyata
Menguntai sebuah erti puisi, sambil mengalunkan sekalung melodi

Indahnya rahmat seribu erti, melutut merayu terduduk menanti

Damai yang hilang sudah lama dicari, diri terasa kosong
Kehidupan yang tenang sudah lama berlalu pergi, jalan terasa serong
Aku merintih pada kedamaian yang hilang
Pulanglah pada aku sekarang
Aku butuhkan kamu yang membuatku tenang

Kembali tenang seperti camar yang terbang

Finally i can breathe...

Finally....boleh jugak bernafas... It's almost a month tak dapat internet kat rumah. Aku mati kutu. Tak tau nak buat ape... Well sebenarnye banyak je keje....Tapi keje utamaku adelah on9...tapi tak dapat dijalankan. So mati kutu la jawabnye. Ni semua disebabkan habis rosak line phone sederet rumah aku ni. Kena sambar kilat. Bukan minor problem tapi major punye. Last week dah ada org datang betulkan, tapi tak boleh gak lagi. Puas la aku bising kat papa suruh call org2 yang berkenaan tu.

Then hari ni ade sorang je yang datang berbanding last week sampai 5 ke 6 org, org yang datang hari ni check rupenye, diorg salah pasang. Sebab tulah benda alah tu tak berfungsi. Bodoh......tambah lagi seminggu aku tak dapat on9. Bongok! Benci! At last dalam pukul 3 petang tadi, akhirnya aku dapat bernafas kembali dengan adenye line internet ku kini. Hehehe. Nasib hari tu tak terlepas registration course. Last day registration, aku kat Shah Alam, nasib aku sempat on9 kat CC, so sempatlah buat.

Jauh

Aku terasa jauh
Yang bikin hati aku kian luluh
Terasa aneh, terasa pelik
Aku hilang punca
Aku kian derita
Aku terasa sendirian
Walau aku punya ramai teman
Terasa seperti semangatku semakin pergi
Jauh berlari
Setiap detik yang mendatang, terasa berat untuk di tempuh
Setiap semangat yang hilang, semakin kuat membuatku rapuh
Setiap kenangan berlalu, tersirat seribu satu rahsia
Setiap kasih yang ku seru, berlalu seperti sebelumnya
Dan setiap kali aku menyembah pada yang maha Esa, terasa diri ini penuh cela
Setiap kali aku memohon dariNya, terasa seperti aku tak layak untuk mendapatnya

Tears on the summer midnight

The tears that fall, getting faster every second.
The fears that she feel, getting stronger being a burden.
The agony that she kept inside, once reveal during the summer night.
The dignity that keep her pride, once being break during the trouble she's fight.
As she doubt on her life, the voice inside kept her alive.
As she failed to succeed her strength, the love inside keep kiss away her pain.
As she feel the appreciation started to get weak, but she fail to avoid the heat.

As the anger turn to be sad, as the doubt of her turn to be bad.

As hot as the desert

It's already 5 am in the morning. But i still did not sleep yet since last night. I have a terrible wifi connection in my room and now i'm online at my juniors room at one of the girl bed while she sleeping at the other room. It's not that didn't have any other beds here, cause the other 2 roomates haven't come back yet, but she still wann sleep at the other room. Only left me and the other roommates, Lenny. Well Lenny already fall asleep about 2 hours ago i guess. I wanna go back to my room but feel teribble to wake Lenny's up, to lock the door. But i don't know, probably i'll just sleep here or i might get back to my room. Owe my roomates Aiman already awake and she's going to the toilet, to get a shower i guess, ain't so sure.

Gosh, it's damn hot day, i can feel that my neck sweating in the middle of the morning. And yesterday morning, i sleep on the floor because can't stand the heat. Feel so good until 11 am, then i have to wake up. I started to sweat even when i sleeping on the floor. It's just last few days, there was a heavy rain during i got back to Seremban, but then suddenlly it change. The weather feels like we're a desert or something.

I'm sleepy, but the weather that keeps me awake. I can't stand sleeping in the condition where my neck sweating. Gosh...my eyes feels so painfull right now. Probably because i haven't get enough rest and sleep. And also it's already morning and i haven't sleep yet since last night. Gosh this late few days i haven't get enough sleep.

Please Dear Allah, give a weather that suite and comfertable for us. Please...

Have you ever thanked your mom?

When you were 8 years
old, your mom handed you an ice
cream.








You thanked her by dripping it
all over your lap.



When you were 9 years old, she paid for
piano lessons.









You thanked her by
never even bothering to practice.



When you were 10 years old she drove
you all day, from soccer to football
to one birthday party after another.









You thanked her by jumping out of the
car and never looking back.



When you were 11 years old, she took
you and your friends to the movies.









You thanked her by asking to sit in a
different row.




When you were 12 years old, she warned
you not to watch certain TV shows.










You
thanked her by waiting until she left
the house.




When you were 13, she suggested a
haircut that was becoming.








You thanked
her by telling her she had no taste.



When you were 14, she paid for a month
away at summer camp.








You thanked her by
forgetting to write a single letter.




When you were 15, she came home from
work, looking for a hug.







You thanked
her by having your bedroom door locked.




When you were 16, she taught you how
to drive her car.







You thanked her by
taking it every chance you could.



When you were 17, she was expecting
an important call.









You thanked her by
being on the phone all night.




When you were 18, she cried at your
high school graduation .








You thanked
her by staying out partying until dawn.




When you were 19, she paid for your
college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags.









You thanked her by
saying good-bye outside the dorm so you
wouldn't be embarrassed in front of
your friends.



When you were 25, she helped to pay
for your wedding, and she cried and
told you how deeply she loved you.








You
thanked her by moving halfway across
the country.



When you were 50, she fell ill and
needed you to take care of her.








You
thanked her by reading about the
burden parents become to their
children.







And then, one day, she
quietly died.





And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART..
& If you love your MOM & you thank her deeply,
THANKED HER NOW, before it's too late...

P/S:I got this from myspace bulletin board that post by Ardiv. But i change some of the end words. I got all this picture from Yahoo search and it's obviously not from my collection, so i apologies if i'm using any of your(readers) pict without asking your permission.