Tak Selamanya Selingkuh Itu Indah

"Tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah" an Indonesian song that captivate me since yesterday. I've heard the title once from an Indonesian chat friends. I never thought that this song was so nice and it was so meant for me in this situation right now. "Tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah" which is mean flirting won't be forever lovely or nice. That's the similar meaning that i can get so far. This song is about a triangle love. Sort off. Erm just like mine. He, he & she and the other she is not in the group. (hehehe) Erm ok let me explain it in my situation. It's about me & him, i know that he has a fiancee, and i'm still with him. I'm sort off like his dark lover or something. Cause i'm too in love with him. And i have to accept the situation that i always be the 2nd one. But in the songs, the case that, the person who's in my situation asking for a broke off, cause the person knows that they won't be togather. Like me, i dont even think i can be with him even i do love him so much. I just have to accept that one day, he will make a decision that will break my heart. I just feel that he will never belongs to me. And i might loose him for once again one day. Well enjoy the songs

And here the lyric for this song...

MERPATI BAND - Tak Selamanya Selingkuh Itu Indah

Betapa ku mengerti sebagai selingkuhanmu

kuharus menjalani ikatan yang tersembunyi

ku mencoba bertahan meskipun menyakitkan

tak menyisakan sebuah sesal di hatiku

selama aku bisa membuatmu bahagia

berpaling ku tak mungkin singgahi hati yang lain

sebatas harapanku mohon pengertianmu

bahwa ku ingin memilikimu seutuhnya

seiring berlalu bergulirnya waktu

membuka rahasia di antara kita

pastinya kan ada hati yang terluka

tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

seiring berlalu bergulirnya waktu

membuka rahasia di antara kita

pastinya kan ada hati yang terluka

tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

namun tak selayaknya perselingkuhan ini

yang lama kulalui menjadi tiada berarti

semenjak ku merasa harapmu sia-sia

hingga terluka hati kan membuatmu tak berdaya

mungkin kurelakan untuk kau tinggalkan

diriku disini harus mengakhiriaku yang merasa lelah dan menyerah

karena tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah

biar kan cerita kita berpisah adanya

bila memang kita tak mungkin bersama selamanya

seiring berlalu bergulirnya waktu

membuka rahasia di antara kita

pastinya kan ada hati yang terluka

tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

mungkin kurelakan untuk kau tinggalkan

diriku disini harus mengakhiri

aku yang merasa lelah dan menyerah

karna tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah

betapa ku mengerti sebagai selingkuhanmu

ku harus menjalani ikatan yang tersembunyi

Narnia & me!

The Narnia movie just like what they told. The 1st movie was better then this one. I feel like something missing in this 2nd movie. I don't know what was it but i dont find it so interesting like the 1st one. Well to me, it just OK. To Narnian Fans, sorry to said that. Well about me, i wrote a poems about me & him & her & her & him. But here i only post one of it so they indentity about the other him won't be reveal. But i might reveal it soon. Just wait and see...

-Irony-

I hate you at the first side
It’s all because of ego and pride
I hate you for hitting on me
It’s all because I have other man beside me

But now it’s change
Even the hate still remain
But I fall in love in again
And it was so plain

You makes my world goes upside down
You made me totally drown
It’s all because of the charming touch
It’s enough to break one heart

I cry every day and night
It’s all because of one fight
I cry because you’re not only mine
But sharing with other two loves that totally blind

It feels so wrong
I hope that I’m still strong
It killing me inside
And burning me outside

All alone...

Dear diary ku,

I guess i'm goin to the cinema alone. I wanna watch the latest Narnia movie which is entitled "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian". There had a rumors said, the 1st Narnia movie is much better the the 2nd one, but i guess, i have to go and watch the movie 1st, then i can give some comment either is it aint good or much better then the 1st one. I've been dying to watch the Narnia 2nd movie since April. Too bad that i have to go and watch the movie on my own. My bestfriend are busy with her practical. My other friends busy with family matter. And some even busy with their exam including my useless boyfriend. Well i guess, i'll better hurry up, if i'm late, i might not gonna catch up with the movie at 3.10.

Fuck off!!!

Fuck off!! He's lying again. Keep lying again and again and again. I hate him........... The truth will always find the way to let me know when he's lying. He can never lie to me. I always find out. What else that sucker want from me??? Isn't it enough having 1 lover and 1 fiancee??? OMG...so sucker! It just last night he promise me not to lie to me anymore even he's flirting, but he did it again! I wish i could kill this guy but i'm not insane yet to do that so. What else did he want from me? Am i look like a mistress to him? Fuck off!!! Everytime his fiancee ignore him, and also his other lover ignore him, i am the one who he always seek for a love. What am i to him??? Fuck off!!!!!!! Am i and his fiancee not good enough for him? What else did he want from a women? Fuck off!!! He'll better watch out! What goes around comes around. What goes up must come down. There the pict dat he write on other girls myspace page. And that girl even was in his top friends, but me? He didnt even add me at all. And that sucks!

Bad week...

Everything was so messed up for this whole week. I feel so lost. Everything wasn't going the way as it plan. I even out of mood to go for a shopping, while shopping is the things that i always love to do when there's a lot of things bothering my mind. I even wish him (the one that i just broke off) at the wrong time. His birthday was suppouse to be on 15, but i wish a day earlier which is on 14. Maybe cause i'm too excited to wish him, till i didnt realise the date. He did reply my msg by asking a few stuff but then i messed up it again till he stop msging me. Argh...sucks! Everything was so messed up. I feel so lonely and feels like i have no one to share all this mess. I hope my bad day will quickly end. God, i miss him. I wish that he could come back to me. Everything that i do didnt feel so right. I even have no mood to chat with my buddies. Please get me out of this misery. Give me an air to breathe easy. Please...i want to cheer up again. As i use to be before. This picture represent how miserable i was right now.


LOCATION: Taiping Lake Garden
MOOD: Miserable
FEELING: Unpredictable

I'm the only one who knows

Yesterday, i get out from house around 8am then got back at 11pm. So damn freakin tired. Well i'm going to some game show rehersal. I'm helping my Farhana (Budak Kecik) by being her back up. That game show call "Jangan lupa lirik" or in the American version they call "Don't Forget The Lyric". Well, when i got home, i got some inspiration to do some poem. But it's a malay poem. This poem ispired by a malay song call "Aku saja yang tahu" by Farhan Azizan. This poem called "Tak Percayakan Cinta". Reminds me to the one who break my heart and cause me to cry day by day.

Kerinduan, yang kurasa sejak kau pergi berlalu
Dimanakah, letaknya janji yang pernah kau lafaz dahulu?
Mengapa kasih, jadi begini?
Tega kau pergi, dan tinggal ku sendiri…

Bukannya aku tak pernah percayakan cinta
Tapi kerana hatiku terluka
Bukannya aku tak pernah memberi kesempatan
Sudah lelah aku menanti kesetiaan

Bukannya aku tak pernah merasakan cinta
Di hati terpahat setia, ketika kita masih bersama
Tapi dirimu, yang mengingkarinya
Tinggalkan aku, berlabuh di sana

Kerinduan, yang kurasa sejak kau pergi berlalu
Percintaan, antara kita yang pernah bersatu
Bukannya aku, tak percayakan cinta
Kerna terluka, kini ku merana

Ku undur diri, dari percintaan yang pernah tersemi
Tak ku mungkiri, segala janji terpatri dihati
Cintaku ini sudah pun pergi
Berlalu dengan sebuah elegi sepi….

1.51 AM
May 10, 2008