Goodbye 2009... Welcome 2010

Goodbye 2009... There's been a lot of unspoken things that i have been through. Some are simple, some are rough and some even more complicated then it use to be... 2009 leave a lot of memories....either it good or sad. But at least 2009 I'm not alone. Naz was always there for me. Thanks my dear.

Family, we've been so together. Owe my cousin got engaged last week, congrats Kak Ita. Abg Zizi is so nice.... Well we've having so much fun during the engagement day... even some idiot spoil our mood we're there had been some stupid argument of a stupid matters, but we still had some fun. Especially when the 6 of us (all the cousin) went to Seri Menanti Old Castle with 2 photographer for a shoot. It was really fun........

The four of us...Adik, Along, Me & Dek Ya (One of us, Kak Long, the one who took the pic)

Abang Zizi & Kak Ita..

All those pict from our cam. I miss my cousin so much... Erm in the same year, i got a new niece... but it my cousin on my dad side kids. I don't remember her name. Sorry little one. Well it's been 3 years since mum passed away...and it's been 3 years since Hector & Troy, my two fat lazy cats live with us.

Faculty...erm...been much better then the first time i started it, but still can't manage to control my nerves either during the forum or exam. And sucks, i didnt get collage for this semester. Damn...i'm going to appeal, but part of me wanted to experiance on staying outside the campus... But i'm so so sure that my dad and my bro totally 100% dont agree with that. Whatever....

My love life...well it's been so nice....but there also had some little arguement once in a while, but we managed to sattle it. He always be there for me. Thanks my dear... Every single little things makes us closer and closer....

And now..... hello and welcome 2010. I hope this year would be much much better from the past. I hope there would be a miracle to makes our life even better then before..

Happy new Year everyone.......

Happy Birthday Aisyah

Happy 20th birthday Syah.

Hey, u're geeting old. Love u bestie. (Not in a lesbian way erk...she's my bestie)
Owe...and i wonder what did Aizat and Amat get u for ur birthday....

Unfaithful again?

First of all...happy belated birthday to me...yeah... Hehehe.... well my birthday on August 28 last month, but I'm too lazy to write in this blog but now I'm updating again. Owe and happy birthday to Azie also.... dah tua :p. Hehehehe... Owe..well as i grown older, my present pun jadi semakin sikit. Sedih...huhu. Well...i got an Amethyst heart shape ring from Naz, talking about the lover...he just call...:). And i got a Gucci purse from Aisyah, well technically from Aizat i guess, cause he was the one who go aboard and buy it for me and not her! But as what Syah claim, it's a gift from her. So accept jelah. She's my best friend.

The ring from the lover.

The purse from the best friend.

Well....erm what else...owe i've already received the kimono dress that i ordered from Smashing Pit Stop. Really cute. I don't have the picture right now, maybe I'll post it later. Cause I'm using my home pc instead of my lappy. The kimono is so cute....and of course it's a brown colour again. I guess i would match with my new choco white heels. Hope so. Ain't test it yet. I just love brown colour. t's easy for me to match with other colour.

Okey, back to the main topic, unfaithful again. Erm...well there's a story about that. Well of course it is. Silly me. Erm...well before i begin..... here are some old poems that i wrote for two person....and erm....just read it.

As I promise myself to be faithful to him

Even though sometimes he makes my life bright in dim
As the time goes by
Curiosity makes me want to cry
As I lonely through the night alone
Someone come and try to heal the wound
As the courage of loyalty getting weaker
I’m lost in my own fear
I break my own wall
As I’m going down to fall
As the kiss had change everything
I’m lost in our dreams
To them, I feel so guilty
It be a sin, that hunts me until eternity
I’m afraid to lose them both
But I know, I just make it worst
I realize the thing that I’ve done
And now, I’m out of no where to run
Just waiting in the cold
For them to know, that I’m unfaithful…

1.28 PM
January 3, 2007
(Unfaithful)

And what's the connection between this poems is that, the same person that I've been flirting with during those time. Well i guess i shouldn't reveal his name. Cause he's married now. But still erm. I just chat with him at facebook, owe and he try to flirt with me again...just like before. Before it's different cause he's still single and i'm with the damn old bf who so psychotic, but now he's married and I'm with my beloved caring boyfie that i promise i will never be unfaithful like before.

Well i can't deny that part of me sort of jealous with me. Cause i do like that guy, but too bad, when we met each other like 3 years ago, he was already have someone special... Too bad for me. Well i guess i like him because of how he treats me, and ain't like the psychotic ex-bf. But thank God i have Naz now.

Gosh...why am i so jealous? For got sake, i don't even have a big crush on him but why am i feel like this? Gosh...i'm dead if Naz find out. Erm what ever. As long as i keep the promise to myself that i will never flirt again and that's it. I won't be unfaithful again...except if some start it up again... Then that's a diffrent story...

Well got to go...owe and i wish him happy with his wife...and from the picture that i saw from the facebook, i guess they are...

Happy Birthday Nazire

Happy birthday sayang...
Wishing you the best of luck in everything that you did.
May Allah bless you.
I love you.

Papa

Happy birthday papa,

I love you so much
With all my heart

May God bless your life and give you all the miracle that you need.

Happy birthday, I love you.

Condolence

Condolence to Farah for the lost of her beloved boyfriend due to drowning in some lagoon or something. Well i'm not so sure bout that. But i know it's hard when loosing someone you love. Don't know what his name, but may his soul rest in peace, Amin.

In Loving Memory of Ili

Well, i just find out about this news a few minutes ago from Wanie. Well not really amazed cause i heard a rumours before that she passed away. But today we just had the confirmation about the news. She passed away about a month ago because of breast cancer. Well she seems to young for having that. But it's faith. Condolance to her family. May Allah bless Ili's soul. Al-fatihah

In loving memory of Ili Khairunissa (right with green kebaya)
1989 - 2009

P/S: This is her only pict that i've got. This pict was taken when we was in 2nd semester after some faculty dinner.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year... Good bye paradise(home) huhuu..... Welcome to Hell (Faculty) huwa........ It's already 2009 now. OMG....i will turn 20 this year....no gosh...i'm getting old.... Wa....amazed...hehehe

Guess what...?

Well, i just came back from Shah Alam, seeing my bf. My dad pick me up then bring me to some resturant, cause both of us haven't eat yet. When we arrived, my dad friends already there. They wanna discuss about their band stuff. Then i dunno who, suddenly someone brought up the topic about celebrity stuff. One of them said that he use to have Jamal Abdilah draft for one of his hit song. I don't remember the title of the song. He said, he met Jamal when he was in prison or sumthin. Cause he was an ex-police. But then too bad that he lost the draft. Then my dad said Ah Chong (my dad friends) have P.Ramlee's IC. But it's just the photocopy la. Then of course i merengek wanna look at it, and he (Ah Chong) show me...and now i have a copy of it too but it just in the picture. Hehehe...

P.Ramlee's IC (Front)

P.Ramlee's IC (Back)

Owe before i forget i also recieved some sad news, P.Ramlee's son, Nasir Ramlee, passed away a few days ago. On Thursday i think. Condolence to his family.

Another sad story...

Another sad story from yesterday, condolence to Mohd Khairul Ridzuan and family for the lost of their beloved mother. It makes me receive 2 sad new on one day.

Then when i text a friend of mine, from UPSI, and share some another sad story, his student passed away due to falling from level 17 from the condo that she's live in. From what my friend said, the little girl wanna run away from home cause the police found a laptop, towel toothbrush etc in her bag. And one more thing the he heard from his friend, her mom was abusive and that cause the girl for wanna running away from home.


Well condolence to the girl family and that makes me receive 3 sad news in one day. Owe yeah, i was reading a novel when i receive the new about Ridzuan mom, then after that when i continue reading the novel, the next page was the part when their cat dies. Damn, why should i receive all this bad and sad news in one day? Gosh... Well condolence once again to all of the family for the lost of their loves one... Al-Fatihah

Al-Fatihah and condolence to Gg's family

When i woke up this morning, i was shocked by some sad news. My cousin passed away this morning, around 5.30 am. And i guess that explain why i can't sleep this morning until around 6 am i guess. Well, sorry i can't go to visit their family, Gg's family, we're sorry cause we couldn't make it. Well condolence's to his family. Well we're not really close to Gg's family, but from what i heard, my aunt said, Gg was sick before, I'm not so cause what illness. The truth is, Gg is a special person, he's retard and can't survive on his own. From what that i know, since i was a kid, all Gg's eat only a banana's and he's so skinny. Maybe Allah loves him the most and he know that Gg cant survive on his own if his father passed away. May Allah bless Gg's soul. And now Gg follow his mom going back to our creator, Allah. May Allah bless you my cousin. Amin.

Lupe pulak...

Aku dah ngok-ngek pasal bencana-bencana alam, lupa pulak nak wish Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha pada semua. Enjoy your raya.

Al-Fatihah

I was just surfing around looking for another blogging center, then suddenly my eyes stopped at this one girl blog, My Juice, by Erina Zahara. Her blog was nice, and the colour captured my eyes. A bright orange and brown. When i was scanning some of her post, my eyes stopped at this one post tittle Al-Fatihah. In that post she was talking about a friend that she didn't have a chance to know her closer, and that girl passed away on that day, October 19, 2008.

Her name was Maisara or she called her Sara Aziz. Then she give a link to Sara blog, i was eager to find out about this girl, why they said that she was so special etc. When i reach her blog, i read some of her last articles before she's gone. I cried. She was special. Such a brave young women. She died at the age of 20. Still young. She died because of cancer. I'm not so sure what type of cancer it is, cause i give up loading her page, it was damn slow, I'm not so sure either is it because of my Internet connection or her page was too heavy. But i got to see a glance of her picture. She's pretty and sweet. Beautiful with or without her make-up. Her last post was about her doctor persuades her to give a chance to chemotherapy. But she still resist it. Chemo is painful, i know it. My late mum also passed away cause of cancer. She first discover that she have a cancer when i was in form 1, it's kindda hard for me cause I'm still young too settle down all thus things at home.

First she was diagnosis for having a breast cancer, well as an advice from the doctor, she did an operation to get rid of the cancer stuff. Well it successful. She takes almost a year to recover from the operation. After almost 4 years from the operation, one day when i got home from school, my dad said that she was in hospital, she fell in the bathroom and she had a problem with her lung, she's hard to breathe. I was speechless. All i do is, change my clothes and quickly asked him to send me to mum. I was in form five and I'll be sitting for my final exam in a few month from that. When i arrived at the hospital, she said the doctor already pump out the water from her lung. But she still seems so hard to breathe. She stayed at the hospital alone that night. The next day i came to the hospital after school, i got up first and my dad going to parked the car. When i arrived there, there had this Indian doctor, she was checking her reports the she was saying something to her. But all i remember is, when she persuades her to go for a chemotherapy back, and her cancer is getting worst. I look at her and she speechless and have nothing to explain it to me. I quickly ran out and call for my ex bf to release all those things that haunting and bothering my mind. He calm me down as usual and then i go back inside, looking at my dad and mum, they said that the test from the water that they pump out from her lung yesterday, have a cancer cell. They diagnosis her as stage 4 and I'm not so sure either it's negative or positive, cause on previous, she was diagnosis as in stage 2 negative as the cancer cell was not active. Doctor predict that she only have about 3 month to live. She resist to accept any chemo anymore, she said it was painful, and i know it. I see her suffer before. And i suffer too looking at her like that. She was diagnosis on March 2006 and she passed away on July 2006. On a Sunday morning, in her sleep.

Gosh....i miss her and I've get too far from my first story, about Sara Aziz. Condolence to Sara's family. Even i don't even know her at all, but her story tear me up. Well she reminds me to my mum. A lot. Both of the suffer from cancer and passed away. I haven't taste a real home cook meal since my mum gone. She is a good chef, well she was a chef at 5 star hotel before, but she resigned since she been diagnosis for having a cancer on 2002. Gosh i miss you mama......i miss you so much. Before i forget, this is Sara Aziz blog, if you wanna know more about her.

Al-Fatihah to my mum, Noridah bt. Mohd Noor

and also

Al-Fatihah to Sara Aziz

May Allah bless both you in your past and after life.

I love you mama.

This song reminds me to my mum. I miss you mama...

Happy Birthday Syah...

Happy Birthday to my beloved best friend, Aisyah@Syah@Mok....hehehe Well you're 19 now.... Wish you were here so that we can celebrate it together but too bad that you're on practical right now. But perhaps we can see each other on Aid Adha......See you pall....... Owe and enjoy your country scenery there at Melaka.....erm is it country? Erm whatever....hehehe Well this is just a new begging Syah, you can't stay practical around Negeri Sembilan forever... Hehehe.. cheers...

I miss this moment...after high school at the cyber cafe where i work as a part time worker.