Just Another Beautiful Disaster

She’s just the sweet honey bee

That everyone thought her pretending to be

She’s just another beautiful disaster

That everyone keep taking advantage of her

She’s not another bitch that played everyone’s heart

But she just afraid of her heart to get touched

She’s not the girl who loves every man

She just the one who will vow for one until the end

I miss you

I miss him so much..........

I miss all those moment......


Suddenly missing him like crazy....huwa.....

Ayat-ayat Cinta

Well, aku baru habis tengok movie 'Ayat-ayat Cinta'. An Indonesian film. Tapi cerita dia tak typical cerita movie Indonesian. Sedih. Honestly memang sedih. Masuk ni dah dua kali aku tengok cite ni, Aku nangis. Ni baru tengok cerita, belum baca novel dia lagi. Btw, cerita ni adaptasi dari novel yang tittle die 'Ayat-ayat Cinta' gak. Author die Habiburrahman El Sh Menurut dari sumber2 orang yang dah baca novel ni, diorg cakap, cerita dalam novel lagi panjang dan banyak conflict. Tapi bila dah dijadikan movie, banyak yang dia tak ambil. Owe btw, ada source aku cakap, tapi aku tak sure, cerita dari novel tu, based on true story. Tapi how far is it true, aku tak tau la.

Poster film
'Ayat-ayat Cinta'

Aku bagi la sinopsis serba sikit tentang cite ni ye. Tapi kalau korang ada peluang nak tengok cite ni ke atau nak baca novel dia, go ahead. It worth it. Tapi kena betul-betul faham la. Sebab cerita dia macam puisi sikit. Ramai yang tersalah tafsir termasuk la aku.

Erm Mesir. Nama dia Fahri. Dalam cite ni, Fahri ni tersangatlah baik, pure and innocent human beingback to the main point, cerita ni mengisahkan tentang seorang penuntut Indonesia di Al-Azhar, la. Normally orang cakap wanita suci kan? Ini ala-ala lelaki suci camtu la. Dia ada close friend, perempuan dan merangkap jiran dia. Nama perempuan ni Maria. Maria ni Kristian Coptic, well Fahri tu of course la muslim. Erm...Fahri and Maria ni close friend. Maria ni have a big crush on Fahri.

One day, both of them ada selamtakan seorang perempuan mesir, yang bernama Noura. Diorg selamatkan Noura ni dari tuan dia ke bapak angkat die tah yang nama dia Bahadur. So diorg dah selamatkan Noura ni and tolong carikan bapak and mak kandung Noura. And she's safe then. Tapi tiba-tiba one day, Fahri kena tangkap polis, atas kesalah merogol Naura. Nilah climax cerita ni. Tapi dalam novel aku tau taulah. Katanya novel lagi best dan lagi sedih.

Cover Novel 'Ayat-ayat Cinta' latest edition

Dalam cerita ni, inilah cabaran pada Fahri ni, sebab kalau sebelum ni hidup dia seems sangat perfect. Tapi ini dugaan dia paling besar. Kena accuse atas kesalahan yang dia tak lakukan. Owe lupa pulak, after diorg dah selamat temukan Naura dengan family dia, Fahri ni kahwin, secara ta'aruf. Aku pun tak sure macam mana. Korang surf la internet untuk tau lebih lanjut. Dengan seorang perempuan kacukkan Turkey dengan ape tah, and nama dia Aisyah. Of course la Aisyah ni muslim. Back to cerita dia kena tangkap tadi. Masa Fahri kena tangkap tu, terserlah ketabahan Aisyah ni. Dia buat macam-macam untuk selamatkan suami dia, walaupun dalam masa yang sama dia belum betul-betul kenal suami dia. Iyelah, kahwin ta'aruf.

Puas diorg cari bukti untuk membuktikan Fahri ni innocent. Tapi sayangnya almost semua bukti tu luput atau hilang. Diorag cuba contact Maria, tapi Maria dah pindah and tak ada saap tau Maria pindah ke mana. Sebab Maria adalah saksi penting bagi Fahri, testimonial dia dapat selamatkan Fahri. Before Maria pindah, dia accident, kena langgar, but she's survive. Aisya pegi trace balik nak cari Maria ni. Dan dia jumpa. Tapi waktu tu Maria ni sedang coma. Mulanya Aisyah cuba bagi Maria dengar suara Fahri yang dia record, tapi it didn't work, doctor cakap perhaps Fahri perlu datang sendiri. Dan dia uruskan dengan lawyer dia untuk bawa Fahri datang.

Hanya untuk beberapa jam. Dan sewaktu di sana, Aisyah suruh Fahri bernikah dengan Maria, sebab dia fikir itu satu-satunya cara untuk buat Maria sedar dari coma. Dan Fahri bernikah dengan Maria waktu tu jugak. Owe, mesti korang wonder how come diorg boleh bernikah sedangkan Maria tu kristian kan? Maria tu Kristian Coptic atau or lebih kenal dengan Kristian Orthodox, yang skang hanya ada di belahh2 Mesir sana. Kristian Coptic ni, ada dalam kitab dan ajaran dia percaya bahawa ada Nabi lain selepas Isa. Kira orang yang beragama Kristian Coptic ni memang boleh berkahwin dengan Islam. Ok back to the story, selepas saja nikah dan Fahri tu bercakap la serba siket dengan Maria, barulah dia nak jaga.

And waktu final trial tu barulah Maria dapat datang bagi testimonial. Dan belum sempat Maria habis disoal jawap, suddenlly Noura tu bangun then cakap macam perempuan gile (aku annoyed gile tengok betina ni), barulah dia cakap perkara yang sebenarnya. Bador yang sebenarnya dah rogol dia dan buat dia sampai mengandung. Dah banyak kali kena rogol dengan Bahadur ni. So empunya badan dah reveal the truth. So Fahri pun dibebaskanlah dan Bador yang kena tangkap. Btw, lupa pulak, motif dia tuduh Fahri yang rogol dia sebab dia pun have a big crush on Fahri, tapi Fahri tak sambut cinta dia. Itulah yang menyebabkan dia fithnah si Fahri ni.

Ayat-ayat Cinta - Rossa

Ending dia, memula Aisyah ni tak dapat terima yang dia bermadu, walaupun dia sendiri yang suruh Fahri bernikah dengan Maria. Tapi at last bila dia dah sedar, dia pun dapat accept. Bila diorg dah mula nak happy, suddenly Maria ni meninggal, waktu dia tengah sembahyang. Waktu tu first time dia belajar nak sembahyang, sambil dia sembahyang baring, sebab dia sakit waktu tu. Dan dia meninggal waktu sedang solat. Kalau tak silap aku waktu nak sujud tu dia meninggal. (Fyi, dia suruh Aisyah dan Fahri ajar dan bersolat dengan dia sekali, inilah guidline yang mengatakan dia meninggal waktu sedang sujud.)

Seriously cite ni memang sedih. Kalau setakat aku bagitau memang susah korang nak faham. So better tengok sendiri atau baca novel dia. Aku teringin nak baca novel dia. Diorg cakap best. Please sape yang ade novel dia bagi aku pinjam boleh tak? Atau bagi aku birthday present novel tu ke? Hehehe.... Btw, cuba korang amati lirik lagu soundtrack cite ni, yang tittle dia sama gak, 'Ayat-ayat Cinta', memang dia buat sangat special untuk cerita ni. Kena sangat lirik dia. Paling nampak bila ending chorus dia ayat dia camni, "Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta, ketika ku bersujud" , kena sangat dengan ending cerita ni. Sedih wo... Kekdangan aku dengar lagu dia pun aku boleh nangis.

Have you really love a women?

Have you really love a women? Well it is the tittle of a song from Bryan Adams. It's an old song i guess. But i just know it recently when my bf accidentally download it when he wanna find some Paco De Lucia (He is a famous flamenco composer. His song really good and also challenging) songs. Because according to the tittle "Bryan Adams & Paco De Lucia - When you really love a women", then he just download it. Well about the correct tittle of the song, I'm not so sure which one was the correct one, but i guess, "Have you really loved a women", cause i ask a friend about the tittle and he said, probably that one. But whatever...as long as when can hear this sweet song.

This song was specially dedicated to a women, the lyric was so meaningfull and i fall in love with it. Well this song actually was my recent favorite lulubay. Before i went to sleep, my bf normally sing me a song, and this is the recent lulubay song that he always sings for me. Well what can i say, he's really pampering me. Hehehe... Well IL Divo have made a cover version for this song in Spanish version if I'm not mistakes. Well here i put a clip by the original singer, Bryan Adams . Hope you enjoy.

Bryan Adams

Remember.........Everytime....

After for such a long time, suddenly this song ring my bell. It's a boyband song from 90s. From 99 if i'm not mistakes. I was 10 while that. It was boyband music trend while that. And i'm one of the boyband fans. I admit that. Well actually i'm more to this Irish group, Westlife, but i'm not talking about that band songs today, i'm talking about this one British boyband name A1, which i suddenlly remember their song 'Everytime' that keep singing in my mind for this several days.

And this song also reminds me to my childhood life. Gosh i miss my childhood life. Well this song may seems for a typical teenage love, but i just like it. I just like it, that's all. Suddenly i remember the time when i was in primary school, where i use to be a tomboy, and my gangs are guys. Remember when we jump from the 2nd floor to the nearby field. Thank God i ain't break any part of my bodies while that.

Gosh i'm goin too far i guess... But this song makes me remind to my past life and that keeps making me talking about the past. Well maybe i suddenly remember this song because i try to find some ideas to wrote some poem for my love one, telling him how much i miss him. Maybe some of the words in my mind similar to this song lyric, and that reminds me to this song. Ok now i got the conclusion. Hehehe...

The young cute innocent Ben Adams

Well i guess this song is the only A1 songs that i like. As i said before, i'm more to Westlife fans. And i just open one of the A1 members website, gosh...he looks so matured... well he's the cutest before....hehehe. Well here i have some picture of him, 1 when he was young and 2 other picture is his latest picture now.

The latest picure of Ben Adams

He looks so hot in that hat. Hehehe

Everytime by A1

Magik - Sewarna

Wah...i just got back home. I'm just dead when I'm at collage. The wifi connection from our new room is just sucks! Damn sucks! Ain't like our previous room where the connection was superb. I'm just dead without internet. And that's the reason why i ain't update this blog for almost a week. Well perhaps you may wondering what's the tittle is all about...right?

Well...there had this one guy, he add me on myspace. Then i saw he's online. So i just go to his page and just wanna see his pict, but then when i stop at his profile, before i open his pict album, the mp3 player play this one wonderful song. Tittle of the song is "Sewarna" from an indie group call "Magik". Then view the group profile which i got it from this guy top friend list. I was so freak out when i found out the singer and the guitarist was my faculty buddies. The singer was Nabel and the guitarist was Ardiv. Their song was so amazing. I just fell in love with that song for the first time i heard it. I'm not the type of person why easy to fall in love with any song for the first time i heard it.

Well Nabel ain't in the faculty no more....he quit i guess, but Ardiv is still in faculty and still studying. How i wish to get an mp3 for that song, but i can't..huhuhu... Well my dad was an old timer musician la... i told him this song was freaking nice and give him listen to it, and he puji ma.... my dad susah wanna puji any indie band songs or any latest songs. He said that song was nice and sweet. And Nabel voice also merdu... And it is correct.

Well there had 2 more songs from this band but i ain't listen to it yet... But you guys can listen to their song from their myspace page. Gosh....i just fell in love with "Sewarna". That song so chomel.... Hope you guys enjoy listening to it... Owe and that guy in the pict is Nabel.... The wackiest Nabel...hehehe...... And just wanna wish Good Luck to their band...

Once

I was just surfing around. Bored. Then suddenly my mp3 player play this one song, "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard & Markeeta Irglova. This song won for the Best Original Song in Academy Awards 2007. This song was a soundtrack to an Irish musical film, "Once", that written and directed by John Carney. This film received the Independent Spirit Award for the Best Foreign Film in 2007.

I still remember the day that Wanie, Aiman and me, get so excited to watch this movie at UiTM Puncak Perdana campus. We arrived there extra early then everyone else. If I'm not mistakes, it was on early 3rd semester i guess, correct me if I'm wrong Wanie. It was Tuesday, after going for the talks with Michelle Hogenes at main campus, the theree of us decides to go there by our own, so that we wouldn't have to wait for our bus at section 17 campus. We take the UiTM bus from the main campus that go straight to the Puncak Perdana campus. We arrived there around 4 or 5 something i guess. Well it's extra early cause the show will starts around 8. The we're go to have an early dinner. Then after finishing the dinner, look at the clock we still have about 2 hours before the show started. We start to mumbling around looking for a place to lepak while waiting for the show, then Aiman was searching for surau, to have a prayer. Firstly, we're going to the surau, just for a prayer, then when seeing there's no one there, we're start to lepak in the surau while waiting. We're talking, laughing and sleeping. It was fun. I miss that day. Owe and I've been so jealous with Wanie, cause she brings her instrument together and she keeps get everyone attention with her instrument, while i didn't bring mine. Huhuhu. No heart feelings erk Wanie. Just joking! Well as a music student, we're proud to bring our instrument everywhere that we go, so that's the point.

Back to the story, after lepak and etc, we're get out from the surau around 8. Cause the theater room was just near by. Cause we're extra early, so we got the very front seats. That movie was really amazing. It wasn't a typical love story. All the songs are nice. But of course, my favorite, our favorite (most of the students), is the main OST, "Falling Slowly". The story is about love, of course, friendship, family etc. This story is about a Dublin busker play by Glen Hansard and a Czech immigrant, play by Markeeta Irglova. This story is about a short relationship or friendship i guess, that effects each others life. How they point their self to the right direction. It ain't ending like a typical love story. It end with each other at the win - win situation, it great, cause they ain't selfish, they think of others before making the decision. Well, honestly i did cry, but i dunno either anyone notice about it. Hehehe.... Well i heard that they might wanna shoot for ONCE 2, but I'm not so sure about it. Cause the news that i heard on tv, wasn't clear enough for me to hear it while that. Well, i hope, they will have ONCE 2, cause I'm so excited to watch it. And hope for some more better songs.

If you have a chance to download or to but the cd's you should watch it. It's a nice independent story. Well, if you try to search it on youtube, forget about it, cause I've already search it no one shares it. Only the OST clips are there. Well you should listen to this 3 best OST, "Falling Slowly", "If You Want Me" and "Lies". It was so nice. Well here is the clip for the main OST and my favorite song ever, "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Markeeta Irglova.

P/S:Love the movie quote. "How often do you find the right person? 'ONCE'" It's very nice

What else?

What else should i do to please your heart? You told me that we should have some understanding, but now, where all thus understanding have gone? Quite, silent, no sound, no reaction. All that reveals is some unknown motif war! I just can't understand the men's! First, they were Angles, then they were Evils! Sometimes i just lost my faith, to count on them. To depend on them. First they tell that they love you, then they will rip it all your heart away! I have been hurt for so many times, but why am i have to be hurt for one more time? I don't wanna get hurt for the rest of my life. I rather die or not to fall in love again! But it just so hard to resist it. I am so soft-hearted. I'm easy and quickly to forgive someone, or to accept something new. Did i deserve this? Maybe? Perhaps? Is it some punishment for me to hurt someone in my past? Well yeah i admit that i have done something wrong, i hurt someone. But it's just the one time. I quickly get out of his life. I don't wanna trouble his life anymore. Maybe it's a punishment to me i guess. I hope that i am strong enough to through this. It is true what Tio (some friends) said, during 3 month on the early relationship are the honeymoon time. The 4 month is where all the drama begins. Yes and it's true. Seems like the history repeating again. Please tell me what's wrong with you? Is there had something wrong with me? What else should i do to make you happy? What else should i do to see you smile? Please tell me! Seems like you're the one who break the rules of understanding! What else should i do? Please tell me!

BERHENTI BERHARAP by Shiela On 7


Aku tak percaya lagi
Dengan apa yang kau beri
Aku terdampar disini
Tersudut menunggu mati
Aku tak percaya lagi
Akan guna matahari
Yang dulu mampu terangi
Sudut gelap hati ini

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat
Kenapa ada derita
Bila bahagia tercipta
Kenapa ada sang hitam
Bila putih menyenangkan
Haa...

Aku pulang...
Tanpa dendam
Ku terima kekalahanku
Aku pulang...
Tanpa dendam
Ku salutkan kemenanganmu
Woo...

Kau ajarkan aku bahagia
Kau ajarkan aku derita
Kau tunjukan aku bahagia
Kau tunjukan aku derita
Kau berikan aku bahagia
Kau berikan aku derita

Haa...
Haa...

Aku pulang...
Tanpa dendam
Ku terima kekalahanku
Rebahkan tangguhmu
Lepaskan perlahan
Kau akan mengerti
Semua...

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat

OST "Virgin"

It's a nice song. OST from movie, "Virgin" (Perawan), an Indonesian movie. Well i can't find any other better video clip, only this one, the clip quality kindda sucks, but hope you enjoy the song. Tittle "Aku Perawan" (I'm Virgin) by Ika Putri.

Aku Perawan - OST VIRGIN

Kawan kita bergandengan
Namun kita tak sejalan
Kawan kita berlarian
Namun tak satu tujuan

reff :
Woo..oo.oo aku perawan
Woo..oo.oo ku tak sejaman
Woo..oo.oo aku perawan
Woo..oo.oo..

Apa aku membosankan
Karena tak sealiran
Apa aku tak tau aturan
Karena tak ikut-ikutan

Back to reff

Chorus :

Biar aja orang bilang aku ketinggalan...
Kesucian bagiku penting untuk di pertahankan
Dan akuu yakin tuhan pun berikan aku tempat yang
Terindah...

powered by lirik lagu indonesia

Because I'm A Girl

A video clip that keeps me crying every time i watch it. The original version is in Korean, by Kiss, a Korean girl group, but this is the English version of this song by Jini, one of the Kiss members. This song also sing in several languages, but all i have in collection right now is only 3 version, Korean, English and Tagalog. But here i choose the English version cause it's easier to understand the lyric then the original one or others. Hope you enjoy.

Because I'm A Girl - KISS

I just can't understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away

You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be
And I believed in you
I thought that you would set me free

(REFRAIN):
You should've just told me the truth
That I wasn't the girl for you
Still, I didn't have a clue
So my heart depended on you, whoa

(CHORUS):
Although I'll say I hate you now
Though I'll shout and curse you out
I'll always have love for you
Because I am a girl

Been told a man will leave you cold
Get sick of you and bored
I know that it's no lie
I gave my all, still I just cry

Never again will I be fooled
To give my all when nothing's true
I won't be played again
But I will fall in love again

(REFRAIN)

(CHORUS)

I loved you so
Now you leave me in the cold
How could this be
I thought that you'd only love me

Into the night
I will pray that you're alright
You hurt me so
I just can't let you go

You took advantage of my willingness
To do anything for love
Now I'm the only one in pain
Will you please take it all away

Never thought being born a girl
How I can love you and be burned
And now I will build a wall
To never get torn again

(CHORUS) [2x]

I cry

I cry when he sing me this song, "Mungkinkah Terjadi" by Spider. I know it sounds like other typical love song, but the lyric was so deep, the meaning closely related to our story. I don't know how to express it but all i can do is cry and cry. I also do some similar translation to English for the lyric. But it's not exactly the same as the original lyric, i do change it a lil bit for the rhyming and also that comes from my heart. Here was a clip of this song by Spider, singing "Mungkinkah Terjadi" unplugged version. And also there's the lyric and the similar translation or perhaps should i say a poem that inspired by the song? Erm whatever, just enjoy the song.

Seringkali hati bertanya

Tiap saat kita bersama

Sampai bilakah harus ku memendam rasa

Tak pernah ku merasai

Bibir terkunci

Jiwa bergelora rasa tak percaya

Adakah ku bermimpi

Mimpi disiang hari

Dirimu…

Telah lama ku nantikan

Wajah yang bermain di mimipi-mimpiku

Hidupku…

Kini bagaikan penjara

Tanpamu disisi tak bermakna

Mungkinkah akan terjadi

Dirimu aku miliki

Berilah tanda kepastianmu

Namun jika tak tercapai harapanku

Selama hayat dirimu tetap ku sanjungi

"Mungkinkah Terjadi" by Spider

Inspired from "Mungkinkah Terjadi"

I’m always keep wondering why

Every time when I see the lies

I know you keep pretending to prevent me cry

I never felt this way before

My heart so in loves and adore

Without you by my side, I’m crying for sure

Am I was in fantasy?

That never turns to reality

I love you so…

Like won’t ever let you go…

The one I’ve been waiting for all of my life

I am alone

And I’m in prison with this wound

Without you by my side and I can’t survived

Would it turn to what meant to be?

That your heart belongs here with me

Tell me now there are no lies that would ever be

If you were not meant for me, for eternity

I will love you now until the final air I breathe

4.24 AM

November 27, 2008

Sacrifice

Do you remember all the things that you said to me?

Do you remember, from the trap that you set me free?
Will you ever be there when I'm falling down?
Would you help me stand up from lying on the ground?

Would you ever sacrifice?
From your lifestyle that so good and nice?
Would you ever sacrifice?
Until the day we dies

You're meant so much to me
Cause you're the one that set me free
From all the freaking agony
With all the lies that surrounding me

You're the one who willing to be with me
When i losing the grip, from my feet of the street
You're the one who treat me so freely
When I'm stuck on the heat, put your heart in a beat

You always be there for me no matter what happen
But I'm still wonder will you still ever be there with arms wide open
When you saw there was no hope will come
Will you still ever be around?

I still remember when I'm asking
"Will you ever be with me, til the end of time?"
And you answer without wondering
"Til the end of time,"

I know that you will, even it's killing you inside
I know that you will, even it's fighting for pride
Will you ever sacrifice, and always be there?
Will you ever sacrifice, giving your life and care?

12.55 AM

Inspired by a song "Sacrifice" by Nazire

Dedicated to Nazire. I love you so much.

Tercipta Untukku

Bila hati berbicara, rindu.
Bila mata berkata-kata, sayu.
Bila mulut terluah, rasa.
Bila hati menyatu, cinta.
Bila damai terasa, bersama.
Bila sayang terungkap rahsia.

-November 6, 2008, 11.35am-

Bila hati gelisah, keraguan tercipta.
Bila keyakinan kian rebah, tega menunggu duka.
Bila suara kedengaran, tangis meratapi.
Bila sayu kerinduan, air mata mengalir di pipi.

-November 6, 2008, 2.44pm-





A quote that i wrote before and after i know what happen to him. I miss him so much. And i'm so worried about him. Please Allah, take care of him for me. He had suffered enough. And i wish that i can get him out of his pain. Here was the song that reminds me to him. Tercipta untukku by Ungu. There had 2 version there. The other one is Ungu featuring Rossa. Same song but diffrent arrangement and have some adding for Rossa part.



Tercipta Untukku - Ungu



Tercipta Untukku - Ungu feat. Rossa (OST Ayat-ayat Cinta)

I'm Sorry...

To Tio,
I'm Sorry... So so sorry..., I try to tell yo, but it's hard. I'm sorrry... Cause i really in love with him. And he was always there for me. Always there. Maybe you were right, i've already found it. I've already found the love of my life. I'm sorry.

Kupu-kupu Kertas by Ebiet G. Ade

Setiap waktu engkau tersenyum
Sudut matamu memancarkan rasa
Keresahan yang terbenam
Kerinduan yang tertahan
Duka dalam yang tersembunyi
Jauh di lubuk hati
Kata katamu riuh mengalir bagai gerimis

Seperti angin tak pernah diam
Selalu beranjak setiap saat
Menebarkan jala asmara
Menaburkan aroma luka
Benih kebencian kau tanam
Bakar ladang gersang
Entah sampai kapan berhenti menipu diri

Kupu kupu kertas
Yang terbang kian kemari
Aneka rupa dan warna
Dibias lampu temaram

Membasuh debu yang lekat dalam jiwa
Mencuci bersih dari segala kekotoran
Aku menunggu hujan turunlah
Aku mengharapkan badai datanglah
Gemuruhnya akan
Melumatkan semua kupu kupu kertas

Kupu kupu kertas
Yang terbang kian kemari
Aneka rupa dan warna
Dibias lampu temaram

Kupu kupu kertas
Yang terbang kian kemari
Aneka rupa dan warna
Dibias lampu temaram

Kupu kupu kertas
Yang terbang kian kemari
Aneka rupa dan warna
Dibias lampu temaram

This is the clip of this song. I'm sorry Tio. I love him so much.

Tak Selamanya Selingkuh Itu Indah

"Tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah" an Indonesian song that captivate me since yesterday. I've heard the title once from an Indonesian chat friends. I never thought that this song was so nice and it was so meant for me in this situation right now. "Tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah" which is mean flirting won't be forever lovely or nice. That's the similar meaning that i can get so far. This song is about a triangle love. Sort off. Erm just like mine. He, he & she and the other she is not in the group. (hehehe) Erm ok let me explain it in my situation. It's about me & him, i know that he has a fiancee, and i'm still with him. I'm sort off like his dark lover or something. Cause i'm too in love with him. And i have to accept the situation that i always be the 2nd one. But in the songs, the case that, the person who's in my situation asking for a broke off, cause the person knows that they won't be togather. Like me, i dont even think i can be with him even i do love him so much. I just have to accept that one day, he will make a decision that will break my heart. I just feel that he will never belongs to me. And i might loose him for once again one day. Well enjoy the songs

And here the lyric for this song...

MERPATI BAND - Tak Selamanya Selingkuh Itu Indah

Betapa ku mengerti sebagai selingkuhanmu

kuharus menjalani ikatan yang tersembunyi

ku mencoba bertahan meskipun menyakitkan

tak menyisakan sebuah sesal di hatiku

selama aku bisa membuatmu bahagia

berpaling ku tak mungkin singgahi hati yang lain

sebatas harapanku mohon pengertianmu

bahwa ku ingin memilikimu seutuhnya

seiring berlalu bergulirnya waktu

membuka rahasia di antara kita

pastinya kan ada hati yang terluka

tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

seiring berlalu bergulirnya waktu

membuka rahasia di antara kita

pastinya kan ada hati yang terluka

tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

namun tak selayaknya perselingkuhan ini

yang lama kulalui menjadi tiada berarti

semenjak ku merasa harapmu sia-sia

hingga terluka hati kan membuatmu tak berdaya

mungkin kurelakan untuk kau tinggalkan

diriku disini harus mengakhiriaku yang merasa lelah dan menyerah

karena tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah

biar kan cerita kita berpisah adanya

bila memang kita tak mungkin bersama selamanya

seiring berlalu bergulirnya waktu

membuka rahasia di antara kita

pastinya kan ada hati yang terluka

tak menerima semua kenyataan yang ada

mungkin kurelakan untuk kau tinggalkan

diriku disini harus mengakhiri

aku yang merasa lelah dan menyerah

karna tak selamanya selingkuh itu indah

betapa ku mengerti sebagai selingkuhanmu

ku harus menjalani ikatan yang tersembunyi

What hurts the most...

Dear diary ku,

It's been a week since he left me. I had no more tears to cry. I miss him. I always do. But what he did to me, is far to hell. I can forgive, but i can never forget. I'm lost way for a few days.. He dump me during my exam week. So mean.. Well he did a lot's of things that hurts me, but in this case..he's far too much. Well it's ok, what goes around, comes around, what goes up, must come down. Someday he will feel the same, while i wont be there for him. But, whatever it is, there still deep down inside me, there have a lil love for him that i can never deny.

"What hurts the most, was being so close.
And having so much to say, and watching you walked away.
And never knowing, what could have been.
And not seeing that loving you, it's what i was trying to do..."

-What hurts the most by Rascal Flatts-

For the 1st time we know each other, i didnt even have any feelings for him. But then day by day after spending our time togather, there had some strange feeling appear. But i dont wanna admit it. I keep resist and resist. But now, all of sudden, when all this things happen, i've just realise, after all this time, loving him, is what i'm trying to do. I've made my mistakes and so did he, i did appologise, and now i'm still waiting from him to say a words... I miss you!