Jauh

Aku terasa jauh
Yang bikin hati aku kian luluh
Terasa aneh, terasa pelik
Aku hilang punca
Aku kian derita
Aku terasa sendirian
Walau aku punya ramai teman
Terasa seperti semangatku semakin pergi
Jauh berlari
Setiap detik yang mendatang, terasa berat untuk di tempuh
Setiap semangat yang hilang, semakin kuat membuatku rapuh
Setiap kenangan berlalu, tersirat seribu satu rahsia
Setiap kasih yang ku seru, berlalu seperti sebelumnya
Dan setiap kali aku menyembah pada yang maha Esa, terasa diri ini penuh cela
Setiap kali aku memohon dariNya, terasa seperti aku tak layak untuk mendapatnya

Tears on the summer midnight

The tears that fall, getting faster every second.
The fears that she feel, getting stronger being a burden.
The agony that she kept inside, once reveal during the summer night.
The dignity that keep her pride, once being break during the trouble she's fight.
As she doubt on her life, the voice inside kept her alive.
As she failed to succeed her strength, the love inside keep kiss away her pain.
As she feel the appreciation started to get weak, but she fail to avoid the heat.

As the anger turn to be sad, as the doubt of her turn to be bad.

As hot as the desert

It's already 5 am in the morning. But i still did not sleep yet since last night. I have a terrible wifi connection in my room and now i'm online at my juniors room at one of the girl bed while she sleeping at the other room. It's not that didn't have any other beds here, cause the other 2 roomates haven't come back yet, but she still wann sleep at the other room. Only left me and the other roommates, Lenny. Well Lenny already fall asleep about 2 hours ago i guess. I wanna go back to my room but feel teribble to wake Lenny's up, to lock the door. But i don't know, probably i'll just sleep here or i might get back to my room. Owe my roomates Aiman already awake and she's going to the toilet, to get a shower i guess, ain't so sure.

Gosh, it's damn hot day, i can feel that my neck sweating in the middle of the morning. And yesterday morning, i sleep on the floor because can't stand the heat. Feel so good until 11 am, then i have to wake up. I started to sweat even when i sleeping on the floor. It's just last few days, there was a heavy rain during i got back to Seremban, but then suddenlly it change. The weather feels like we're a desert or something.

I'm sleepy, but the weather that keeps me awake. I can't stand sleeping in the condition where my neck sweating. Gosh...my eyes feels so painfull right now. Probably because i haven't get enough rest and sleep. And also it's already morning and i haven't sleep yet since last night. Gosh this late few days i haven't get enough sleep.

Please Dear Allah, give a weather that suite and comfertable for us. Please...

Have you ever thanked your mom?

When you were 8 years
old, your mom handed you an ice
cream.








You thanked her by dripping it
all over your lap.



When you were 9 years old, she paid for
piano lessons.









You thanked her by
never even bothering to practice.



When you were 10 years old she drove
you all day, from soccer to football
to one birthday party after another.









You thanked her by jumping out of the
car and never looking back.



When you were 11 years old, she took
you and your friends to the movies.









You thanked her by asking to sit in a
different row.




When you were 12 years old, she warned
you not to watch certain TV shows.










You
thanked her by waiting until she left
the house.




When you were 13, she suggested a
haircut that was becoming.








You thanked
her by telling her she had no taste.



When you were 14, she paid for a month
away at summer camp.








You thanked her by
forgetting to write a single letter.




When you were 15, she came home from
work, looking for a hug.







You thanked
her by having your bedroom door locked.




When you were 16, she taught you how
to drive her car.







You thanked her by
taking it every chance you could.



When you were 17, she was expecting
an important call.









You thanked her by
being on the phone all night.




When you were 18, she cried at your
high school graduation .








You thanked
her by staying out partying until dawn.




When you were 19, she paid for your
college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags.









You thanked her by
saying good-bye outside the dorm so you
wouldn't be embarrassed in front of
your friends.



When you were 25, she helped to pay
for your wedding, and she cried and
told you how deeply she loved you.








You
thanked her by moving halfway across
the country.



When you were 50, she fell ill and
needed you to take care of her.








You
thanked her by reading about the
burden parents become to their
children.







And then, one day, she
quietly died.





And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART..
& If you love your MOM & you thank her deeply,
THANKED HER NOW, before it's too late...

P/S:I got this from myspace bulletin board that post by Ardiv. But i change some of the end words. I got all this picture from Yahoo search and it's obviously not from my collection, so i apologies if i'm using any of your(readers) pict without asking your permission.

Happy Birthday Wanie!

Happy birthday to Wanie... Wah...dah tue :P. Hehehe...erm... tatau nak cakap ape...tapi sure ko tak de gambo ni lagi kan? Well nah...hadiah birthday ko...hehehe...

Wanie & buah hatinye (Faliq) -Happy Birthday...

P/S: Ske gamba ni...chantek...(sebab aku yang amek...hehehe)

Bull sh*t!

Aku saja join yahoo nye chatroom tadi. Then adalah chat dengan sorang mamat ni. Tengok kat display picture dia, gamba dia main drum. Then aku assume dia musician la kan of course. And he was. Tapi dia cakap, dia co-pilot airasia. Tapi how far is it true, aku tak taulah. And dia ada band, band dia main all this metal rock stuff. Ok fine. I have no problem with that. Then aku terlambat reply msg dia sebab aku leka tengok vid clip lagu "Lucky", bukan version Jason Mraz and Colbie Cailat, tapi orang biasa la. Dari indie group kot. Tak taulah. It's kindda nice. Tapi of course la ada weakness serba sedikit. Nama diorg 'Alyssa Bernal & Kris Mark'. Korang boleh click kat name diorag kalau nak denga version diorg tu.

Back to that guy, aku cakaplah sorry sebab aku terleka tgk clip tu. Dia tak tau lagu tu. Then dia tanya sapa nyanyi. Aku jawaplah. Then after that, dia kutuk2 Jason Mraz. Dia kata Mraz ketinggalan zaman. Music dia tak maju. Hello...kalau music Mraz tak maju...takkan dia boleh top skarang? Sedangkan dia tu yang kolot. Yelah, kononnye memperjuangkan rock and metal. Owe before that aku bagi tau sebab aku dengar tu, nak kena perform. Dia boleh cakap apa tau, dia suruh aku tukar lagu. Aku pun melenting la dan-dan tu gak. Membebel-bebel la aku. Sampai dia kena sembur yang dia tu tak berfikiran terbuka la itu la ini la.

Dia suruh aku tuka lagu and dia suruh aku ganti dengan lagu M. Nasir, lagu ape tah. Aku pun tak tau. Hello ape hak ko nak suruh2 aku tukar lagu? Hello...aku bukan budak vocal nak bawak lagu yang gempak-gempak. Dan range suara aku pun sangatlah limited. So aku cuma nak play on the safe side bawak lagu ni. Sweet and catchy. Lepas aku sembur dia tu, terus dia diam. Langsung tak cakap apa. Padan muka kau! Sakit hati aku. Sengal. Ngok nak mampos. Kalau betol kau tu bagos sangat, kenapa kau tak popular? Kenapa nama ko tak de langsung dalam music industry? Bodoh!

Ayat-ayat Cinta

Well, aku baru habis tengok movie 'Ayat-ayat Cinta'. An Indonesian film. Tapi cerita dia tak typical cerita movie Indonesian. Sedih. Honestly memang sedih. Masuk ni dah dua kali aku tengok cite ni, Aku nangis. Ni baru tengok cerita, belum baca novel dia lagi. Btw, cerita ni adaptasi dari novel yang tittle die 'Ayat-ayat Cinta' gak. Author die Habiburrahman El Sh Menurut dari sumber2 orang yang dah baca novel ni, diorg cakap, cerita dalam novel lagi panjang dan banyak conflict. Tapi bila dah dijadikan movie, banyak yang dia tak ambil. Owe btw, ada source aku cakap, tapi aku tak sure, cerita dari novel tu, based on true story. Tapi how far is it true, aku tak tau la.

Poster film
'Ayat-ayat Cinta'

Aku bagi la sinopsis serba sikit tentang cite ni ye. Tapi kalau korang ada peluang nak tengok cite ni ke atau nak baca novel dia, go ahead. It worth it. Tapi kena betul-betul faham la. Sebab cerita dia macam puisi sikit. Ramai yang tersalah tafsir termasuk la aku.

Erm Mesir. Nama dia Fahri. Dalam cite ni, Fahri ni tersangatlah baik, pure and innocent human beingback to the main point, cerita ni mengisahkan tentang seorang penuntut Indonesia di Al-Azhar, la. Normally orang cakap wanita suci kan? Ini ala-ala lelaki suci camtu la. Dia ada close friend, perempuan dan merangkap jiran dia. Nama perempuan ni Maria. Maria ni Kristian Coptic, well Fahri tu of course la muslim. Erm...Fahri and Maria ni close friend. Maria ni have a big crush on Fahri.

One day, both of them ada selamtakan seorang perempuan mesir, yang bernama Noura. Diorg selamatkan Noura ni dari tuan dia ke bapak angkat die tah yang nama dia Bahadur. So diorg dah selamatkan Noura ni and tolong carikan bapak and mak kandung Noura. And she's safe then. Tapi tiba-tiba one day, Fahri kena tangkap polis, atas kesalah merogol Naura. Nilah climax cerita ni. Tapi dalam novel aku tau taulah. Katanya novel lagi best dan lagi sedih.

Cover Novel 'Ayat-ayat Cinta' latest edition

Dalam cerita ni, inilah cabaran pada Fahri ni, sebab kalau sebelum ni hidup dia seems sangat perfect. Tapi ini dugaan dia paling besar. Kena accuse atas kesalahan yang dia tak lakukan. Owe lupa pulak, after diorg dah selamat temukan Naura dengan family dia, Fahri ni kahwin, secara ta'aruf. Aku pun tak sure macam mana. Korang surf la internet untuk tau lebih lanjut. Dengan seorang perempuan kacukkan Turkey dengan ape tah, and nama dia Aisyah. Of course la Aisyah ni muslim. Back to cerita dia kena tangkap tadi. Masa Fahri kena tangkap tu, terserlah ketabahan Aisyah ni. Dia buat macam-macam untuk selamatkan suami dia, walaupun dalam masa yang sama dia belum betul-betul kenal suami dia. Iyelah, kahwin ta'aruf.

Puas diorg cari bukti untuk membuktikan Fahri ni innocent. Tapi sayangnya almost semua bukti tu luput atau hilang. Diorag cuba contact Maria, tapi Maria dah pindah and tak ada saap tau Maria pindah ke mana. Sebab Maria adalah saksi penting bagi Fahri, testimonial dia dapat selamatkan Fahri. Before Maria pindah, dia accident, kena langgar, but she's survive. Aisya pegi trace balik nak cari Maria ni. Dan dia jumpa. Tapi waktu tu Maria ni sedang coma. Mulanya Aisyah cuba bagi Maria dengar suara Fahri yang dia record, tapi it didn't work, doctor cakap perhaps Fahri perlu datang sendiri. Dan dia uruskan dengan lawyer dia untuk bawa Fahri datang.

Hanya untuk beberapa jam. Dan sewaktu di sana, Aisyah suruh Fahri bernikah dengan Maria, sebab dia fikir itu satu-satunya cara untuk buat Maria sedar dari coma. Dan Fahri bernikah dengan Maria waktu tu jugak. Owe, mesti korang wonder how come diorg boleh bernikah sedangkan Maria tu kristian kan? Maria tu Kristian Coptic atau or lebih kenal dengan Kristian Orthodox, yang skang hanya ada di belahh2 Mesir sana. Kristian Coptic ni, ada dalam kitab dan ajaran dia percaya bahawa ada Nabi lain selepas Isa. Kira orang yang beragama Kristian Coptic ni memang boleh berkahwin dengan Islam. Ok back to the story, selepas saja nikah dan Fahri tu bercakap la serba siket dengan Maria, barulah dia nak jaga.

And waktu final trial tu barulah Maria dapat datang bagi testimonial. Dan belum sempat Maria habis disoal jawap, suddenlly Noura tu bangun then cakap macam perempuan gile (aku annoyed gile tengok betina ni), barulah dia cakap perkara yang sebenarnya. Bador yang sebenarnya dah rogol dia dan buat dia sampai mengandung. Dah banyak kali kena rogol dengan Bahadur ni. So empunya badan dah reveal the truth. So Fahri pun dibebaskanlah dan Bador yang kena tangkap. Btw, lupa pulak, motif dia tuduh Fahri yang rogol dia sebab dia pun have a big crush on Fahri, tapi Fahri tak sambut cinta dia. Itulah yang menyebabkan dia fithnah si Fahri ni.

Ayat-ayat Cinta - Rossa

Ending dia, memula Aisyah ni tak dapat terima yang dia bermadu, walaupun dia sendiri yang suruh Fahri bernikah dengan Maria. Tapi at last bila dia dah sedar, dia pun dapat accept. Bila diorg dah mula nak happy, suddenly Maria ni meninggal, waktu dia tengah sembahyang. Waktu tu first time dia belajar nak sembahyang, sambil dia sembahyang baring, sebab dia sakit waktu tu. Dan dia meninggal waktu sedang solat. Kalau tak silap aku waktu nak sujud tu dia meninggal. (Fyi, dia suruh Aisyah dan Fahri ajar dan bersolat dengan dia sekali, inilah guidline yang mengatakan dia meninggal waktu sedang sujud.)

Seriously cite ni memang sedih. Kalau setakat aku bagitau memang susah korang nak faham. So better tengok sendiri atau baca novel dia. Aku teringin nak baca novel dia. Diorg cakap best. Please sape yang ade novel dia bagi aku pinjam boleh tak? Atau bagi aku birthday present novel tu ke? Hehehe.... Btw, cuba korang amati lirik lagu soundtrack cite ni, yang tittle dia sama gak, 'Ayat-ayat Cinta', memang dia buat sangat special untuk cerita ni. Kena sangat lirik dia. Paling nampak bila ending chorus dia ayat dia camni, "Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta, ketika ku bersujud" , kena sangat dengan ending cerita ni. Sedih wo... Kekdangan aku dengar lagu dia pun aku boleh nangis.

Another boring evening

Things ain't go as we expect it to be. Aku sepatutnya perform untuk Pop Ensamble, tapi kena tangguh sebab class cancel. Tak tahulah bila diorg nak buat last performance ni. Last Monday aku dah excited gila nak perform untuk Pop Ensamble, tapi cancel. Last Tueasday aku dah excited nak perform untuk forum, tapi tak dapat sebab diorang dulukan budak part 6, 7, 8 and last sitting dulu. Tapi ramai je yang bukan last sitting tapi mengaku last sitting. Sakit ati je. Geram and tension aku. Pada hal aku dah excited nak perform tapi hajat tak kesampaian. Semuanya salah aku gak sebab slalu buat performance last minutes. Wannie please jangan bebel. Aku tau kau akan bebel kat aku sal ni.

During study week ni mesti bosan. Sebab duduk rumah je. Aku ingat nak balik Shah Alam, duk hostel je tapi bila fikir balik tak de orang kat bilik, jangan haraplah. Aku tak pernah nak tidur sesorang kat bilik. Rela aku tumpang rumah member kat luar atau ajak bf aku teman aku tido kat mcd sect 3 tu. Tak hengen aku balik bilik tidur sesorang. Kalau kat Shah Alam, at least aku bebas begerak sket. Tak macam kat seremban. Kat shah alam aku tau nak naik public transport. Kalau kat sini mampos naik teksi pon aku tak tau nak tunggu mana.

Boleh tak kalau aku nak putarkan waktu balik ke zaman dulu. Aku rase lately ni macam terlalu banyak sangat sesal. Rasa macam nak turn back time je. Kalau boleh aku nak balik ke zaman aku baby. Time mama aku masih ada lagi. Aku nak manje sepuas-puasnye dengan mama. Tapi sayang, aku dalam reality. Bukan dalam fantasy. Aku rasa zaman budak-budak aku sangat bahagia. Sekarang pun happy jugak. Just cabaran hidup tu tersangatlah berat, perit, sukar, etc. Things getting complicated right now. And it's hard to explain it. Hanya boleh dirasa dan sukar diungkap.

Tapi kalau diulang segala masa silam aku, aku mintak several things yang jangan berubah. Family aku, teman baik aku dan jugak bf. Sebab diorg tersangat bermakna dan beri kesan dalam hidup aku. Pada family, you guys are my life. Pada Naz, you are my strength. Pada rakan, you guys are my memory, fantasy and reality. Thanks for everything.

Terasa jiwang pulak bila meluah macam ni. Tapi inilah hakikat. And inilah jugak yang aku selalu buat bila aku sesorang. Papa keluar pegi jamming. Along pegi pd ngan membe2 dia. So aku tinggal sesorang la kat rumah. Nak ajak Aisyah keluar, dia baru je balik dari KL, sebab tadi ada class. Aku memang tak ramai kawan kat sini. Aku susah nak rapat dengan orang. Mungkin sebab dari dulu aku sering kena back stabbed, so sampai sekarang aku still hati2 pilih kawan yang boleh dijadikan kawan rapat.

Confession of the untold secrets

Aku pernah ada crush, pada seseorang. A big crush. Waktu tu, aku cuba untuk dapatkan dia. Tapi sayangnye, i've been stabbed by someone yang aku sangat percaya waktu tu. My crush ni minat pada the one yang aku percaya ni and dia pernah mintak couple dengan the one yang aku percaya ni, dan this girl terima, walaupun dia tau yang aku tersangatlah gilakan this guy. Sedangkan dia pulak tak de feeling langsung pada this guy. Well it did break my heart. Teramat sangat. Iyalah, memula that guy layan aku baik je, then suddenly dia diam dan jauh. Rupa-rupanya dia dengan this girl. Tapi diorg togather sekejap je. Kesian that guy. I know that he is really a good guy. Dia tersangat baik. Sampai sekarang aku masih sanjung dia sebagai seorang yang baik. Tapi feeling pada dia of course la dah tak da ye. Well pada pendapat aku, this girl plak, dia macam jeles dengan aku. So dia cuba dapatkan apa yang aku nak atau ada. Until now. She still doin it.

Back to the tittle, "Confession of the untold secrets", hari ni aku telah bukak secret tu pada the guy yang aku pernah ada crush tu. Kesian dia. Until now dia still tak dapat jumpa a girl yang betul-betul sesuai untuk dia. Semuannya sebab dia buat cerita sedih yang dia tak de gf. Well whatever la. Aku tak taulah dia faham ke tak maksud aku. Point yang aku cuba jelaskan pada dia. Hopefully dia tak sebengap mana. So he should understand it perfectly i guess. Tapi aku tak taulah macam mana reaksi dia lepas ni. How he would treat me. Sama ada dia akan menjauhkan diri lagi macam dulu or act seperti biasa.

Bila aku confess pada dia terasa sayu pulak. Tapi aku syukur, sebab aku punya Naz sekarang. Yang sering ada bila aku jatuh dan bangun. Yang sering sudi bila aku ceria dan sunyi. Well life goes around and comes around. Memang apa yang that girl buat pada that guy and aku tak patut. Dia tak patut break hati that guys. And tak patut terima that guy untuk sakitkan hati aku. Aku memang tahu dan dapat rasa dari dulu yang dia cemburukan aku. Lantaklah dia. Malas aku nak fikir pasal dia.

Well pada that guy(the crush), aku harap kau akan jumpa orang yang sesuai untuk kau dan jangan mengadu pada aku lagi yang kau sunyi(hehehe just kidding). Pada that girl, seriously kau memang selalu je tak puas hati dengan aku kan? Ade je yang kau nak buat aku sakit hati. Ada saja orang yang kau cuba rampas dari aku. (Aku cakap orang bukanlah hanya bermaksud teman lelaki or crush, tapi including orang yang kita panggil teman atau kawan). Sampai kawan kita pun tak peduli kan kita. Lantaklah dia. Aku harap kau kena pulau la suatu ketika nanti. Biar kau sedar balik diri tu.

P/S: For Naz, thanks for always be with me, no matter how hard things may seems. Te qiero mucho mi amor...

Wish...

Dear Sayang,

I hate to see the melancholy on your face,
I wish that i could erase.
I wish that i could kiss away all the pain,
The pain that you have in those brain.
How i wish that i could give you those smile,
Even when i'm far away for a million miles.
How i wish that i could make you feel batter,
And that might bring us closer.
I pray to God to help you to be strong,
And avoid yourself from doing something wrong.
I wish that He could guide you.
For just being you.
I wish that He will bless you,
With a perfect honour soul that suite you.
I wish that you will quickly calm down,
From all the matters that makes you feel down.
How i wish for you to be here,
Being mine, now until forever.
How i wish that you know how much that i love you,
How i wish for you to know how far that this true.
How i wish...

P/S; Aku tulis poem ni waktu tengah emo dengan dia.

They steal my picture!

Tak guna betul. Sape nye keje tah, diorg pegi letak gamba aku jadi wallpaper dekat pc library kat INTEC ni. Kat pc 29. Tekejut aku dibuatnye. NI gerenti kes aku lupe delete gamba waktu transfer gune pc tu, then ade mangkuk mane tah buat dajal pegi letak as wallpaper. Tapi nasib la muka tak jelas. So tak de la segan sangat. Serious aku menyumpah-nyumpah sape yang set gamba aku tu jadi wallpaper. Memandai ko je nak tibai gamba org. Hey itu hak cipta terpelihara tau. (Hehehe tau ayat tak leh bla...)Diorg pegi guna gamba yang kat sebelah ni ha.. Aku tau la gamba ni lawa. Tengoklah orgnye...hehehe (tetibe perasan sendiri) Aku dah tuka wallpaper tu.. Hopefully tak de mangkok yang pegi letak balik gamba tu.........

Wannabe...

Kenapa title aku wannabe? Erm sebab aku baru lepas menyaksikan ke-poyoan beberapa orang umat manusia dan aku rasa disgusting sangat tengok perangai manusia-manusia tu. Well it start like this, aku lepak kat Uncle K Kopitiam dengan bf aku as usual la. Then he told me that he met this one guy who was a malaysian hip hop singer, and mamat ni Azan from Ruffadge. Dia cerita la how this guy sapa dia and beborak and ask for numba n etc. Aku tak heran pun, sebab aku proud katakan bf aku memang bagus main flamenco and no wonder kalau Azan tu pun tertarik mendengar.

Lepas dalam 15 minit kitorg beborak sal tu, suddenly Azan muncul. Dia tengur la bf aku dan just senyum je kat aku. Aku pun bukannye kesah sangat la. Memula aku tak perasan sapa yang ada dengan dia waktu tu, btw, Azan tu ada kat sini sebab Echo Park ada baru bukak kat SACC ni. Ok back to the story, waktu tu Azan and pengiring2 dia ni nak pegi makan, ok fine.


Yang sangat ketara bila balik dari makan. Dia tegur bf aku waktu tu, and waktu tu plak kitorg tengah practise lagu 'Lucky' , suddenlly aku baru perasan something, ada this one guy, kitorg panggil dia 'anak seni' sebab dia poyo nak mampos and ada a few reasons lagi la. Sumpah dia poyo nak mampos and wannabe nak mampos, siap pakai cap ala2 hoppers lagi....konon nak join click Azan la tu. Serious aku meluat. Kau bayangkan dia boleh kononnya nak menari ala2 breakdance kat depan meja aku. Nasib aku tak termuntah. And memacam lagi la. Aku pandang bf aku, dia geleng and suh aku sambung practise. Tu satu hal.

Satu lagi, ade sorang lagi tukang escort si Azan ni. minah gedik mane tah, aku perasan dari keluar dari cafe lagi aku nampak Azan ni cuba nak melarikan diri dari minah tu tapi minah ni keep ikut bontot die and keep talking and keep menggedik. Eh kalau tak silap aku bukan Azan tu dah ada bini ke? Seboleh-boleh minah tu tahan dia sampai dia dapat nombo mamat tu. Meluat gile aku tengok wannabe and si gedik tu. Aku tak diorg tak de salah pada aku tapi meluat aku tu membuatkan aku nak tulis pasal ni. Kalau boleh aku nak record nak tunjuk kat korang macam mana aksi2 wannabe dan si gedik tadi.

I wanna go back home...

I'm gonna be homesick again. Argh..., i can't go back this week. It's all because of another damn extra module on this coming sunday. And today i have another replcament class at 3. Gosh, i feel like i wanna skip this class.

And yeah, i'm dead. Next week is my final studio exam. Caklempong, guitar and keyboard skills exam was all on the same day. Damn i hate that. But when it's over, i was the one who will relief...while the rest still waiting for their hunted day. Hehehe...

Owe yeah and guess what, my final chance to perform in forum and pop ensemble next week. For forum of course i have to play 2 clasical song and for pop ensamble i guess i wanna sing 'Lucky' by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat, of course i will perform with my bf. And i might add one more song for pop ensamble, if there had more time for me to practise other songs. But it depends. most probably i will sing that one song. And of course i won't play the guitar. I'm surely be freaking nervous. I'm not gonna risk my final chance for that. Wish me luck..........

P/S: I miss my Hector & Troy..........

Now i'll curse you!

Now i should curse you. Yes i'm slow in learning. Do you have a problem with that? And i'm not the only one who was slow in that, there had others too but why you must always attack me? Why me? You've treat me so bad then anyone else. Probably you still 'pilih kasih'..especially the one who always 'kipas' or 'air-cond' you. I'm not that type of person. It's not that i'm not learning, but i do have a lot of things on my mind.

You don't know what have i been through this late few month that almost cause me my life. Between life and dead. You don't know that. All you know that we all just the same that learning under one roof. But have you take a chance to know me better and closely? No you didn't. I've try to done that to you, but it didn't work and i give up. And i was hoping that you won't be teaching me anymore. That's what i prayed for. I never hate any of my teachers or lecturers so much, but when it turns to you, it's like a volcano of madness in this mind and heart. I was hoping that i could pass this could so that soon i won't be seeing you anymore. And that's so relief.

This is the person who use to make me feel so down on the early semester until i cry for about one hour and almost get an asthma attack for that. Can you imagine that someone insulting you in fornt of your classmates and the worst, your classmates is your junior? Owe and not to forget, they insult you or provoke you while you having your quiz and the carry marks will be taken for your final resualt. How thoughtful of you. Brilliant.

Owe yeah, after that incident, you're beeing so nice to me, but hey, i don't give a damn! Cause i've already have a holl in my heart. Being nice but today, being such a provocative back. Whatever. I just wish that i could finsih this course soon. Then i will have nothing to do with you again. And one important thing that i should stated clearly, "I HATE YOU" and that's final.

If it's before this i just igonre it when you're provoke or insulting me, but now it's final, one more time you messed all this things up, i will speak up. And "I HATE YOU". Even after this if i pass this course, i won't thank you for that!

In Loving Memory of Ili

Well, i just find out about this news a few minutes ago from Wanie. Well not really amazed cause i heard a rumours before that she passed away. But today we just had the confirmation about the news. She passed away about a month ago because of breast cancer. Well she seems to young for having that. But it's faith. Condolance to her family. May Allah bless Ili's soul. Al-fatihah

In loving memory of Ili Khairunissa (right with green kebaya)
1989 - 2009

P/S: This is her only pict that i've got. This pict was taken when we was in 2nd semester after some faculty dinner.