Seem so wrong...

Everything use to be going quite well in my life. Now everything seems so wrong. So wrong. Ain't going the right. Everything seems falling apart. a lots of unexpected and unwanted things happen and i don't know how to handle it. Should i start it back again? Or should i just through the agony of pain? It's all in one. Only my heart knows what am i suffering to. With the family, with the studies, with the lover, and while I'm down right now, no friends came to help or at least to be some who i can turn to except for my best friends, Syah. But she can't always be there. She got her own things to do. Plus she's on her 2nd semester practical now as a nursing student. Sometimes like i wanna get rid of myself, but i know it's a big crime. I guess I'm lost my way right now, and i don't know to who i can turn to. I can't put all the burden on papa, he had suffer enough especially since mama passed away 2 years ago. Emotion suffering, that's what I've been through right now. Before this i use to turn to my bf, but i know he got he's own problem to settle things down. And i can't always depending on him. I have to learn how to survive too. But it just i don't know how to do it. I really loose my way. Can't turn to papa cause he had suffer enough about this family and also his siblings and mama's family too. It's kindda complicated, but that's what happen. My brother? He got he's own prob and i don't even wanna discover about it cause i had enough things that running into my mind right now. I know he's suffer too but he just didn't show it. Syah, she's on practical. My bf? He with he's own problem and i know he had suffer enough too and i don't wanna bother him with my problem. Wanna let him stabilize himself first then i trouble him with my problem. Argh...i feel like I'm going insane right now. I just hope that there can be miracle for me to handle all this. So hoping for a miracle.