The stupidity of an ex-boyfriend

I was cooking for my dinner making a sausage roll, then suddenly my phone ringing, a javanese tone, the tone that i set for my message. It's a message from one of my ex bf, name Z**i. This is the excatly dialog that we have in our message.

Ex : I need your help. I'm desperate.
Me : What?
Ex : I kena pinjam some cash. I'll pay back in 2 weeks. Leh?
Me : Sorry i tgh x da duit skarang ni. N d 300 that u owe me pun u x baya lagi kan?!
Ex : I tau. If ada, i dh byr k
Me : Ok
Ex : U n bf ok?
Me : So happy 2gather
Ex : Bila kawin?
Me : Haha. Lmbt lg. Tunggu i hbs degree dulu. U tanye org, u 2 bile plak?
Ex : Next year kot sbb i'm flying off, so kawin dulu. Hehehe
Me : Owe dgn dat gurl yg dlm friendster 2? Poyo kate x de gf
Ex : U tanya gf, i jwb xde, sbb dia tunang i
Me : Wah, bile mase u bertunang? X bgtau pon.
Ex : Family je tau. Wat kecik2.
Me : Owe k. Congrats. I'm happy 4 u.
Ex : Sure ke? Or u mrh?
Me : Buat ape i nk marah, i'm happy with him now.
Ex : I xde ckp pape bout him pun
Me : La tdkn u ckp i happy or marah kan? Then i ckp i'm happy for u plus i'm happy with him
around 2. Nape? U x caye erk?
Ex : Doubtful, tp ok la. Hehe. Hows sha? (My bestfriend)
Me : Ok dgn bf baru n bkn dgn cine 2 lg.
Ex : Dia ada cuba flirt ngan bf u?
Me : Nope. X penah jumpe pon. I pon dh lame x jumpe die.
Ex : Beware of her k. I just rase die jeles ngan u je.
Me : Sebab?
Ex : U dpt better guys than her
Me : Entahlah. Pape jelah. Just 4get bout d past. Malas nk ingt.
Ex : Ok. I just anggap dia cheap, tu je
Me : Y?
Ex : Flirty n senang
Me : Lain org lain opinion.
Ex : Maybe, tp dia memang easy 2 get
Me : Erm then how come u x dpt die?
Ex : I xnak, bkn xdpt. Y i nk dia pun?
Me : Bkn u penah nk flirt ngan die smpi nk dumped me wak2 tu?
Ex : I nak f**k her je
Me : Aik diam? Erm x pe lah.
Ex : I did get to see her naked, tu a good step
Me : Yelah 2. Tp u x dpt pun kan? Erm. Dh la just 4get bout all those stuff.
Ex : oh, u xtau? After we broke up, i ade kuar ngan dia, n bwk g hotel. She tunjuk everything
Me : How come? X faham maksud u?
Ex : Up2u nak caye ke x. I ckp je.
Me : Ye ke? Or u buat cite je?
Ex : Ask her if uxcaya or i can send u gambar dia tdo naked. Hehehe. Da
Me : Sbb u lie 2 me be4. So x tau la nk percaye ke x. Btw crdt low la. Da
Ex : Im sowi, dia kata i je leh smpn. Nak tgk dlm phone i je
Me : Send 2 me now kalau betol. Br i caye
Ex : Y kena i antar? U bkn laki yg i kena share bnda2 ni. Plus if dia minta gambar u n i bg, u
suka ke?
Me : Kalau cam2 betul la u're lying. Kalau betul u akn sent it 2 me.

Well there had a few more, but i think this is enough to prove that the stupidity in this guy. He's trying to make me and my best friend fighting or argue about something that's not true. I know my best friend, in some situation, she can never lie to me. And plus the ex had try to make us argue once, during my last semester on UiTM. So get lost u son of b***h. We won't forgive u until the end of time.