Thursday, November 27, 2008

I cry

I cry when he sing me this song, "Mungkinkah Terjadi" by Spider. I know it sounds like other typical love song, but the lyric was so deep, the meaning closely related to our story. I don't know how to express it but all i can do is cry and cry. I also do some similar translation to English for the lyric. But it's not exactly the same as the original lyric, i do change it a lil bit for the rhyming and also that comes from my heart. Here was a clip of this song by Spider, singing "Mungkinkah Terjadi" unplugged version. And also there's the lyric and the similar translation or perhaps should i say a poem that inspired by the song? Erm whatever, just enjoy the song.






Seringkali hati bertanya

Tiap saat kita bersama

Sampai bilakah harus ku memendam rasa

Tak pernah ku merasai

Bibir terkunci

Jiwa bergelora rasa tak percaya

Adakah ku bermimpi

Mimpi disiang hari

Dirimu…

Telah lama ku nantikan

Wajah yang bermain di mimipi-mimpiku

Hidupku…

Kini bagaikan penjara

Tanpamu disisi tak bermakna

Mungkinkah akan terjadi

Dirimu aku miliki

Berilah tanda kepastianmu

Namun jika tak tercapai harapanku

Selama hayat dirimu tetap ku sanjungi



"Mungkinkah Terjadi" by Spider




Inspired from "Mungkinkah Terjadi"


I’m always keep wondering why

Every time when I see the lies

I know you keep pretending to prevent me cry

I never felt this way before

My heart so in loves and adore

Without you by my side, I’m crying for sure

Am I was in fantasy?

That never turns to reality

I love you so…

Like won’t ever let you go…

The one I’ve been waiting for all of my life

I am alone

And I’m in prison with this wound

Without you by my side and I can’t survived

Would it turn to what meant to be?

That your heart belongs here with me

Tell me now there are no lies that would ever be

If you were not meant for me, for eternity

I will love you now until the final air I breathe

4.24 AM


November 27, 2008

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Vote for Nazire

This is my bf audition clip for the celcom uox play. He play a song that he compose and named it 'Sitar'. He change the string pitch ain't like usual, to get the sound of the sitar. Hope you guys enjoy. Vote for Nazire.


Monday, November 24, 2008

The gemstones colour meaning

As a gemstones and crystal lover, i love to find out about the meaning of the colour of each gemstones and crystal that i have. And here i have some basic info about the colour meaning of the gemstones.

First and foremost, purple. Purple is the color of good judgment. It is the color of people seeking for spiritual fulfillment. It is said if you surround yourself with purple you will have peace of mind. Purple is a good color to use in meditation.Purple has been used to symbolize magic and mystery, as well as royalty. Being the combination of red and blue, the warmest and coolest colors, purple is believed to be the ideal color. Most children love the color purple. Purple is the color most favored by artists. Thursday's color is purple.


The next one will be, Pink. Pink symbolize to love and beauty. It is a quiet colour. Pink is a combination of red and white. The quality of energy in pink is determined by how much red is present. White is the potential for fullness, while red helps you to achieve that potential. Pink combines these energies. Shades of deep pink, such as magenta, are effective in neutralizing disorder and violence. Some prisons use limited deep pink tones to diffuse aggressive behaviour.Pink provides feelings of caring, tenderness, self-worth and love, acceptance.


The next one will be Gold. It symbolize wealth, prosperity and wisdom. People who favor the color gold are optimistic.The tibetan Buddhist believes in 5 sacred stones: the crystal for light, turquoise for infinity of sea and sky, coral for life and form, gold for the golden ray of the sun, silver for the light of the moon. Gold is intimately linked with Divinity and those gods associated with the Sun. Well i'm sorry, there's no picture for this gold gemstone cause i couldn't find any perfect colour that suite this gold gemstones. So sorry.

Blue represent the colour of the sky, ocean, sleep and twilight. The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli to represent heaven. Blue symbolizes the Virgin Mary. A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. Blue is often the chosen color by conservative people. Blue is the calming color. That makes it a wonderful color to use in the home, especially for babies. Blue is so soothing that is a good choice for pajamas. Dark blue is the color of truth and moderation. A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Wednesday's color is blue. Blue gemstones to wear to feel calm are blue sapphire and blue topaz. Lapis lazuli and azurite are said to heighten psychic power. Turquoise is the symbol of youth, both the color and the gemstone. This color has a soothing affect. Turquoise is the color of communication. It contains the growth quality of green with the blue quality of communication. Turquoise has long been used in amulets to provide protection, health, confidence and strength.

Well there had more colour to go, but i'm too tired and kindda sleepy right now. Haven't got enough rest for this late few days. I'll continue about the meaning of all this gemstones later.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sacrifice

Do you remember all the things that you said to me?
Do you remember, from the trap that you set me free?
Will you ever be there when I'm falling down?
Would you help me stand up from lying on the ground?

Would you ever sacrifice?
From your lifestyle that so good and nice?
Would you ever sacrifice?
Until the day we dies

You're meant so much to me
Cause you're the one that set me free
From all the freaking agony
With all the lies that surrounding me

You're the one who willing to be with me
When i losing the grip, from my feet of the street
You're the one who treat me so freely
When I'm stuck on the heat, put your heart in a beat

You always be there for me no matter what happen
But I'm still wonder will you still ever be there with arms wide open
When you saw there was no hope will come
Will you still ever be around?

I still remember when I'm asking
"Will you ever be with me, til the end of time?"
And you answer without wondering
"Til the end of time,"

I know that you will, even it's killing you inside
I know that you will, even it's fighting for pride
Will you ever sacrifice, and always be there?
Will you ever sacrifice, giving your life and care?

12.55 AM

Inspired by a song "Sacrifice" by Nazire

Dedicated to Nazire. I love you so much.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Audition

Last Saturday (November 15, 2008), i accompanied my bf and my friend, Azizul to an audition. We went to two audition. The first audition was held at Bukit Bintang Sidewalk. Azizul and my bf audition for a lead guitarist on the Twisties Bingit audition. My bf also audition for vocal. But i didn't join them in the audition. Cause it was held in the sidewalk, and had a lots of people there, will making me freaking nervous. We bump into a few of my faculty buddies such as Fred, Farid(Part 1), Ardiv and also Kimie. Well i'm kindda excited to see them there. After that, we went to find where the hell is the Capsquare mall. It's a new mall. Even i've already been there, but i don't know where the hell is it. It's kindda out of no where. Well we've been mumbling around for about an hour i guess, then we went to KLCC. My bf call his friend who was on the way to KL from Shah Alam and wanna join us in the next audition. He pick us up some where around KLCC, the we went to capsquare with him. We find that place around 6 PM. It was such a hell looking for that place. It was an unknown new mall. The only person who really want to go for that audition at the capsquare is my bf, Azizul don't wanna join it. He said he had enough of disaster at the Twisties Bingit audition. Ok fine. When we arrived there, we find out that the audition wasn't really in public. It was in a small cabin where there's only have the camera man and one or two of the crew, but most of the time is only the camera man. The records that the camera man take will be shown on www.uox.com, but i don't know when they gonna show it, then people will vote for the semi-finalist, the semi-finalist will perform in a concert to choose the finalist and so on. I started to think to join for the audition. After my bf done with his audition, i try to persuade my bf friend, Jalil, who we call Jack Sparow cause of his out-loud attitude, to join the audition. I'm not the only one who persuade him, Azizul also join the club. It works, Jack really join the audition, it was sucks cause he wasn't prepare at all. Then Azizul, the one who didn't wann join the audition for the first, went to the room for audition. I started to laugh at him. The i went for a walk with my bf, just around there to see all those bazaar and etc. Then when we get back from the walk, we find out that Jalil wanna join the audition for the second time, but this time with Azizul who will be accompany him. My bf just laugh at both of them. I keep urge them to hurry up cause i Azizul was using my bf guitar, while i wanna practise a lil bit with him before i went to that room for the audition. I sing the same old song, Falling Slowly, the song that i sing for my pop ensemble. Owe, my bf accompanied me on guitar in the audition. Well, after Jack and Azizul audition, it was my turn, well to be honest, for the first i still feel nervous, but the camera men was so friendly, the boys even made friend with him. Well i don't really remember his name but Azizul friend, Shahril, the one who follow us, did take his picture, well just a snap. I didnt really feel nervous at all when i'm in the room, well Jack and Shahril also in there to watch our performance. My bf warn Jack earlier for not to laugh or making a jokes while we perform, cause he always make a jokes without even care where the hell it is. Well he did behave during the recording. I'm glad. But my perform ain't go that smooth. On the first chorus, i can't reach the 1st high note, but i maintain to keep it ok till the end, and also, there had one part where my bf got the melody wrong, and it was so obvious, but whatever, i just keep it sing. I was join it for fun and also experience. It was so much fun that i thought. Actually they will have a party on that night at the events, but i'm not so sure at what time, either it starts at 12 or 11. But we can't join them. Shahril, have to go back cause he was on a night duty shift. So all of us have to go back early. They send me to KL Sentral, i went back to Seremban by train. Arrived around 10.30 pm. So damn tired. Plus i didn't have enough sleep last night. But it was so much fun. I really enjoy it. Here's a clip that i record through my phone, well the quality is freaking bad, but it just for a memory to me. He sing "Sacrifice", his own song. Well there had a lot of 'sumbang', and etc, but just put it for fun. Hope u enjoy.



Sacrifice by Nazire

Friday, November 14, 2008

She Use To Be There

She was always there waiting for him

But he wasn’t there, making her life in dim

He treat her unfair, because he didn’t care

She always be prepare, when he’s out of no where

She was always there, when he’s falling down

Reaching up his hand before he hit the ground

But he didn’t even realize all thus care that she give

Because he’s so selfish and thinking so negative

Her heart been hurt so much

Every time that he left without even touch

All the sanity has been gone so far

Without even realize that he torn her heart apart

She use to be his angle, that giving him hope and get him out of his pain

He caught, their love in a triangle, living her alone like she use to remain

He never realize until she’s gone, he’s suffer where no one to heal his wound

When she sing a song, now he realize that he’s been so wrong

Still feel she’s lingers around

Every time when he feel his world upside down

How he wishes she was there for to heal his wound

But now he hit the ground



2.28 Am
November 14, 2008


I wrote this poem and dedicate to anyone who just realize that he or she just lost someone that they love because he or she didn't realize how special that person is. A friend use to give me this quote:

"When you found love, treasure it, take care of it and make good use to it. Cause love come unseen, you can only see it when it's gone!"


P/S: Please correct me if my grammar was wrong. Honestly, my grammar is sucks!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The stupidity of an ex-boyfriend

I was cooking for my dinner making a sausage roll, then suddenly my phone ringing, a javanese tone, the tone that i set for my message. It's a message from one of my ex bf, name Z**i. This is the excatly dialog that we have in our message.

Ex : I need your help. I'm desperate.
Me : What?
Ex : I kena pinjam some cash. I'll pay back in 2 weeks. Leh?
Me : Sorry i tgh x da duit skarang ni. N d 300 that u owe me pun u x baya lagi kan?!
Ex : I tau. If ada, i dh byr k
Me : Ok
Ex : U n bf ok?
Me : So happy 2gather
Ex : Bila kawin?
Me : Haha. Lmbt lg. Tunggu i hbs degree dulu. U tanye org, u 2 bile plak?
Ex : Next year kot sbb i'm flying off, so kawin dulu. Hehehe
Me : Owe dgn dat gurl yg dlm friendster 2? Poyo kate x de gf
Ex : U tanya gf, i jwb xde, sbb dia tunang i
Me : Wah, bile mase u bertunang? X bgtau pon.
Ex : Family je tau. Wat kecik2.
Me : Owe k. Congrats. I'm happy 4 u.
Ex : Sure ke? Or u mrh?
Me : Buat ape i nk marah, i'm happy with him now.
Ex : I xde ckp pape bout him pun
Me : La tdkn u ckp i happy or marah kan? Then i ckp i'm happy for u plus i'm happy with him
around 2. Nape? U x caye erk?
Ex : Doubtful, tp ok la. Hehe. Hows sha? (My bestfriend)
Me : Ok dgn bf baru n bkn dgn cine 2 lg.
Ex : Dia ada cuba flirt ngan bf u?
Me : Nope. X penah jumpe pon. I pon dh lame x jumpe die.
Ex : Beware of her k. I just rase die jeles ngan u je.
Me : Sebab?
Ex : U dpt better guys than her
Me : Entahlah. Pape jelah. Just 4get bout d past. Malas nk ingt.
Ex : Ok. I just anggap dia cheap, tu je
Me : Y?
Ex : Flirty n senang
Me : Lain org lain opinion.
Ex : Maybe, tp dia memang easy 2 get
Me : Erm then how come u x dpt die?
Ex : I xnak, bkn xdpt. Y i nk dia pun?
Me : Bkn u penah nk flirt ngan die smpi nk dumped me wak2 tu?
Ex : I nak f**k her je
Me : Aik diam? Erm x pe lah.
Ex : I did get to see her naked, tu a good step
Me : Yelah 2. Tp u x dpt pun kan? Erm. Dh la just 4get bout all those stuff.
Ex : oh, u xtau? After we broke up, i ade kuar ngan dia, n bwk g hotel. She tunjuk everything
Me : How come? X faham maksud u?
Ex : Up2u nak caye ke x. I ckp je.
Me : Ye ke? Or u buat cite je?
Ex : Ask her if uxcaya or i can send u gambar dia tdo naked. Hehehe. Da
Me : Sbb u lie 2 me be4. So x tau la nk percaye ke x. Btw crdt low la. Da
Ex : Im sowi, dia kata i je leh smpn. Nak tgk dlm phone i je
Me : Send 2 me now kalau betol. Br i caye
Ex : Y kena i antar? U bkn laki yg i kena share bnda2 ni. Plus if dia minta gambar u n i bg, u
suka ke?
Me : Kalau cam2 betul la u're lying. Kalau betul u akn sent it 2 me.


Well there had a few more, but i think this is enough to prove that the stupidity in this guy. He's trying to make me and my best friend fighting or argue about something that's not true. I know my best friend, in some situation, she can never lie to me. And plus the ex had try to make us argue once, during my last semester on UiTM. So get lost u son of b***h. We won't forgive u until the end of time.

2 ways how to wear a vest...(Part II)

On the last two days, i have wrote about 2 ways how to wear a vest. And this is the second part of it. Wanie my friend, had suggest me about the country style on wearing the vest. Yeah it's a nice suggestion but too bad i can't find any perfect blouse for it, so i guess maybe later, i can try to find any of my outfit that suite for that style. Well, on my first picture, it symbolize the Omotesando, one of the Japanese Street Style. Well, actually i don't really know how to different shade the style, but the after discussing with a friends, and some guide from a Japanese Street Style website, i'll classify it as Omotesando, but if i'm wrong, please correct me. This first style, i use a long hip tight t-shirt(the dark purple), the vest on the top, black shorts, and the purple waist legging. The rattan fedora on the top. Well, about the shoes, in this style, boot's will be the best combination for this style. But since i don't have any boot's at all, cause i'm not really a fans of a boot's, so i just wear a black pump in this pict. But the most suitable shoes for this style is the boot's.


Omotesando


The second style, i'll clasify it as Daikanyama, well i don't have the reason's why but i'll follow according to the web that i use to follow. Please correct me if i'm wrong. In this style, i'll wear a white babydoll inside and the vest on the top and the shorts for the pants. And i wear a wedges for this style, but in my opinion, boot's is most suitable, but wedges also in the same line but depends on the wedges type. But i'll prefer the boot's more. It's simple and just nice.


Daikanyama


This is the perfect boot's for both outfits and i found it in Forever 21 website.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

She's soo............annoying! (angry mood)

She's so...annoying...can i vanquish her or sumthing?! She's really annoying.... I just ask her properly about when is our last day to do the hostel clearance, but she answer it in a sarcastic way. "I'm not the janitor or sumthin!" what the f**K B***H! I have been patience with this B***H for quite a long time. Every time when i ask her something in proper, she always answer it in a sarcastic way, but i still be patience and shut my mouth. We even have an argument due to her freakin B***H mouth. She always tell all those story about her bf or her secret lover. Even it always makin me feel so freakin damn bored, but i still listen to her, as a good friend. But then every time when i wanna tell her the story of my life, either about my studies, my bf or else, she seems like didnt interested at all. It seems like obviously written in her face saying that "This B***H is not a good LISTENER!". She's so SELFISH, obviously SELFISH. I'm not the only one who saying this, but also the rest. She will do something that giving her the benefits rather then helping people sincerity right from the heart. And every time when she's doing something good, she expect people to re-pay her back, doing something good deeds to her back. What the F**K! If i was the only who was a bad person, then how come can she lost 2 best friends during 2 semester while i got 2 new best friends, 1 good friends and a good bf? Well yeah, i use to be her close friends(best friend perhaps), but then she blew it. Blew the best friends sincerity. She's so selfish............ Argh......i rather have Wanie & Aiman as my close friends or best friends rather then her. I am regret to be her friends. I am. To anyone who think that she might be that person, so now you what the h**l am i thinking and please behave yourself B***H!

Monday, November 10, 2008

2 ways how to wear a vest...

Yesterday, when i just messing around with my clothes, suddenly i just some inspiration on how to use a vest. I got this inspiration after watching "Mila" video clips, title, "Aku Lebih Tahu" and also from the film "Sepi" that directed by Khabir Bakhtiar, one of the most amazing director in Malaysia right now. In the first look, i use my brown dress, wear the vest on the top, and a belt to make it look like a skirt rather then a dress. Then plus with the rattan fedora to make it look like chic. This look more symbolize to a clubbing chic.


The First look. Like a club chic.


The second look, which is more to harajuku style. I use a red tank to inside and the vest on the top. The the layer short skirt and blue pink dotted legging. Then a converse style flat shoes. On the top i use a a snow cap. This look is much symbolize to harajuku.

The second look that symbolize to Harajuku look.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Baked Cheese Macaroni...Yummmy....

Yesterday, my brother and i make a baked cheese macaroni. We're kind a mess up a lil bit by put sum extra macaroni instead of the cheese. Plus we didn't use one of the original ingredients because we couldn't find it. We're suppose to use cheddar cheese, Parmesan cheese and cottage cheese, but couldn't find the cottage cheese. So for a replacement, we're use the cream cheese instead of the cottage cheese. The taste is just nice. For a cheese lover, you should try this simple recipe.




Before Baking



This is a simple recipe for making a Baked Cheese Macaroni. I add some other ingridients to make it more tastier. ;)


INGREDIENTS


1 (8 ounce) package elbow macaroni
1 (8 ounce) package shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
1 (12 ounce) container small curd cottage cheese
1 (8 ounce) container sour cream
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup dry bread crumbs
1/4 cup butter, melted


DIRECTIONS


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil, add pasta, and cook until done; drain.
In 9x13 inch baking dish, stir together macaroni, shredded Cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream, Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper. In a small bowl, mix together bread crumbs and melted butter. Sprinkle topping over macaroni mixture.
Bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until top is golden.

After Baking

P/S: I add some extra crab stick and chicken ball for some taste. Too much cheese might make loose your appetite because it's too cheesy. Hope you guys enjoy.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Tercipta Untukku

Bila hati berbicara, rindu.
Bila mata berkata-kata, sayu.
Bila mulut terluah, rasa.
Bila hati menyatu, cinta.
Bila damai terasa, bersama.
Bila sayang terungkap rahsia.

-November 6, 2008, 11.35am-

Bila hati gelisah, keraguan tercipta.
Bila keyakinan kian rebah, tega menunggu duka.
Bila suara kedengaran, tangis meratapi.
Bila sayu kerinduan, air mata mengalir di pipi.

-November 6, 2008, 2.44pm-





A quote that i wrote before and after i know what happen to him. I miss him so much. And i'm so worried about him. Please Allah, take care of him for me. He had suffered enough. And i wish that i can get him out of his pain. Here was the song that reminds me to him. Tercipta untukku by Ungu. There had 2 version there. The other one is Ungu featuring Rossa. Same song but diffrent arrangement and have some adding for Rossa part.



Tercipta Untukku - Ungu



Tercipta Untukku - Ungu feat. Rossa (OST Ayat-ayat Cinta)

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Bad feeling...

I don't know why, since after my last exam CTU this morning, then after i read the piece of paper that my bf give it to me yesterday, i feel something different. I feel like i wanna cry. I feel sad. Plus when i hear the song from Nubhan (AF student), 'Aku Ada Untukmu', i cry, but i quickly wipe my tears away. I was at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to go back to my collage from faculty. Yesterday, he gives me a piece of paper, with a red ink pen, he wrote it while waiting for me to finish my Aural Skill exam. And i didn't even know that he was around until i call him back after i see there had 9 miss called from him on my cellphone that i left in my locker while i'm in the exam hall.


The piece of paper that he give it to me
(The fist side of the page)


at section 18, near to my faculty, he call. He said that he's in trouble. Then suddenly my heart beating faster, then he said, yesterday, when he was on his way to go back, i don't know either go back home or go back from sending me to section 2, he been robbed, by guy in a motorcycle. I don't know either there are two of them or he's alone. He lost his wallet and his cell phone. Right now, i don't know how to contact him. Only hope that he with any of his friends that i know their numbers so that i can contact. Maybe around this week or next week, back, to see him and to give him my other cell phone, for him to use it for a while before he get his new one. I cry in the car. I know there must be something bad happening but to who and when, i can't take a guess. I'm not really good at guessing. I wondering why all this things happen to him? He have been through a lot of rough things that happen in his life. I just hope that his life will get better sooner. Sometimes i wondering, is it a Well the words full of emotion, with a deeper meaning inside. As a poet, i know, he is complicated. He is weird. Back to the main story, why am i feeling so bad, everything isn't seems so right. Last night i was waiting for him to call but he didn't call. Maybe he already go back home and get to sleep early. Then suddenly today, when i'm inside the car with my dad and my brother, when we was on our way to go back home after we're having lunch at Pak Li's Kopitiami'm going to shah alamcursed that someone put to him or it just his faith. I don't know. And don't have the answer for that. Between him and i, there had some kind a emotional connection between us, seems like both of us can feel that when anyone of us in some bad or worst situation. I'm so so so worried about him. Plus i wasn't there to be with him when he was in this kind a situation. It hurts and it's sad. Really hurt and really sad.


The piece of paper that he give it to me
(The other side of the page)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I miss my baby Troy...


I miss my baby Troy! I have two cute lazy cats at home. The eldest one name Hector and the youngest name Troy. Both of them have their own nickname instead of Hector & Troy. We call Hector, 'Mok', simplify for 'Gemuk' or fat. And we call Troy, 'Cik Dik', simplify for 'Kecik Gedik' erm i dont remember what the meaning in English. Well Hector is my dad and my bro fave's, while Troy was my fave lazy cat. Hector didn't really give so much trouble to us as long as he wasn't inside his cage. While Troy, always been scoled by my dad, cause he likes to bother people at the
wrong time, then he don't know how to keep his nail off while playing with us. Sometimes i do feel sad when looking at Troy's eyes, especially after my dad scolding him for doing something wrong. But sometimes, he was naughty, there's one time when i was playing with him then suddenly he pee on me. I was freak out. Then straight sent him to his cage. He was so naughty, but i love him. I don't know how should i do to make my dad treat both of my cats equally. And i don't know how to taught Troy to behave nicely. It is obvious, my dad usually playing with Hector instead of Troy, sometimes Troy do want to join them, but he didnt really give the attention to him. And i always protect him when he been scoled by my dad. Everytime when i'm not around, when i'm back to collage, i always think about how he will be alone. Cause if i was there, i was the one who usually played with him. But when my bro was around, he treat both of them equally but Hector was still his fave. Firstly i wanna put Troy's video clip, but since the connection is sucks, i just put Troy and Hector pict. Love my baby kitty so much. Ops, wait a minute, are they still consider a baby? hehehe You tell me... Hector on the left and Troy on the right.